search me

Update: Now that it's reached its fortieth sixtieth eightieth birthday, I'm reposting this. Be amazed at the crazy searches that lead people hither.


Originally posted May 22, 2005.


Randomness and creativity are twin strands in the double helix of art, linked by hydrogen bonds of fun and van der Waals forces of excitement.

In a new series of articles, I'm going to title each entry with search terms once used to land on this very blog, and create something original based on what I imagine the searcher was looking for.

Hopefully, this will help future Googlers find better answers, and spur me on to new heights of relevance.

But no more jabbering: on to the series.

1. Oliver! and consciousness raising
2. how to join the dark side
3. pro-neo-darwinism
4. a monster for kids in English
5. the snakes join
6. a list of Jesus's 12 disciples
7. white people love Ichiro
8. noun and verb twins
9. join the dark side and get a cookie
10. Thurston County slogans
11. Joshua Golding
12. meaning of the Puerto Rican flag
13. girls eating maggots
14. Jesus sends out the twelve
15. Coldstone songs tips
16. Who finances Ramtha?
17. aspartame aftertaste
18. artificial blue roses
19. jody folkedahl
20. spelling bee fainting
21. than me or than I?
22. human weirdness
23. astrology chart prediction on Michael Jackson, 2005
24. Jesus's cryptic parables
25. rag peddler Jesus
26. what's wrong with flowery prose?
27. historical views of children
28. Splenda Hippocampus
29. statistics on rage towards umpires
30. how to get liars to admit the truth
31. I like to contradict myself
32. quotable quotes on restaurant ambience
33. your baby can read critical analyses
34. is Achilles a hero?
35. utilitarianism and wet-nursing
36. statistical data on premarital sex in the Phil's.
37. the grinch that stole christmas anagrams
38. yes in difernt language
39. Almond Joy has nuts
40. quick thing on real elephants
41. practical exercise for light English teaching
42. what was Jesus's philosophy?
43. communicatin' with the dead
44. how to avoid temptation
45. spanking can lead to bad behavior
46. reasons to love teaching
47. mad cow jello risk
48. artificial ballywho
49. Jim Anderson, God
50. how to make sure sperms are alive
51. Barbies with stinky breath
52. what the 12 disciples' names mean
53. Tim Eyman is anti-gay
54. the truth behind The Exorcism of Emily Rose
55. super bowel commercials sprint
56. proper casket viewing attire
57. four reasons evolution isn't right
58. triskaidekaphobia statistics
59. Jesus's real name
60. mock diamonds
61. "beanie baby" chaps cowboy directions
62. who invented nose hair trimmers?
63. how to make your sperms stronger
64. Jesus's birth certificate
65. who predicted NCAA bracket correctly
66. what's gonna happen to me in the future?
67. what was the name of Mercutio's brother?
68. Mason rules. Gators drool.
69. Kentucky's Nostradamus
70. unnamed poem by Jim Anderson
71. magnetic laundry system
72. statistical data on Anna Nicole Smith
73. Dear Lord, can you clear up my acne?
74. Romeo and Juliet: condensed version
75. you should not do that
76. toxoplasmosis telepathy
77. twelve disciples anagrams
78. the moral teaching of butter
79. proper attire for teaching
80. how to do parallel parking in US
81. Coldstone auditions
82. logic question to ask random people