I've already expressed my opinion on the subject, but to clarify and expound, I offer a list of suggestions for all involved in the franchise--passers-by, customers, drones, management--to maximize enjoyment of the Coldstone experience.
Yes, that is the proper plural. Go in. Try some ice cream.
As I've mentioned before, pay and tip with a credit card to avoid humiliation. (Not tipping is also an option, but your servers might sing different songs in that instance.)
Practice creative resistance to corporate vacuity. If someone tips, sing only if the boss is watching. Ask if the customer wants you to do your song-and-dance; chances are, they'll decline. Mask the clinking of small change by banging loudly on the cash register and announcing, "Darn this computer, it never works right." Teach your coworkers new lyrics to corporate tunes that, like their spiritual predecessors, are code for your escape to the freedom of a better-paying job. (Do not contemplate the strong possibility that you might have to trade liberty for salary.)
Take the bus home from work, and sit next to the guy who boisterously sings with his iPod, and note the reactions of your fellow travelers when you join in. Take your significant other to Red Robin for a birthday treat, and watch closely as delight, horror, embarrassment, and existential angst cross your partner's face in rapid succession. Sit in the outer reaches of your local baseball stadium, in the non-family-friendly bleachers, right behind Drunk Guy who belts out the national anthem, otherwise known as "Take Me Out to the Ballgame."
Ready to reconsider your tipping policy?
[fifteenth in a series]