Apr 30, 2006

how to do parallel parking in US

1. Signal right.
2. When you see a spot you want, pull ahead of it until you are perfectly aligned with front seat of the car ahead of the spot you want--or so your back bumper is aligned with its back bumper.
3. Put your car into reverse. Wait for the driver in the vehicle behind you to acknowledge by cursing loudly.
4. As you begin to back up, cut the wheel sharply toward the curb so the back end swings around and into the desired spot.
5. Continue backing slowly, straightening the wheel when your front door aligns with the other car's front bumper, so your car runs parallel to the curb.
6. Scoot forward because you're a bit too close to the car behind you.
7. Stop the engine and get out.
8. Notice that you're nineteen inches from the curb, at least six inches too far.
9. Hop back in, embarrassed. Ignore your spouse's or friend's derision.
10. Go forward, turning toward the curb.
11. Turn the wheel the other way.
12. Back up.
13. Turn the wheel again and go forward.
14. Back up.
15. Go forward.
16. Slam fists into steering wheel.
17. Sob.


[eightieth in a series]

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

very funny.