It's true. After all, I'm white, and I love Ichiro with all my heart. I have an Ichiro shrine hidden inside a book closet in my classroom where I secretively burn unscented incense during breaks.
In fact, everybody loves Ichiro. Ichiromania is the one thing people of all creeds, colors, ethnicities, dispositions, and nationalities can agree upon, our best hope for world peace.
Follow his example. Stretch often. Swing at everything. Foul off the pitches you don't like. Stretch some more. Smile like you're worth 12.5 million per annum.
I-chi-ro.
[seventh in a series]
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