Diamonds are notoriously fragile creatures, prone to weep at the slightest provocation--which is exactly why you ought to mock them mercilessly, unceasingly, summoning all your wits to crush them into blubbering submission.
Mock diamonds in every taxon, every variety, every shape and size. "Pity, you're just a rhombus with an attitude, a defunct square, a cloned triangle, a rectangle in diapers, a trapezoid without charm or merit." Mock baseball diamonds, whose overpriced denizens pollute their once-hallowed grounds. "Your mother was a cricket field and your father reeked of elderberry dung." Mock Lou Diamond Phillips, Neil Diamond, Diamonds are Forever, Jared Diamond, black diamond runs, and Dustin Diamond.
Please, please mock Dustin Diamond.
You have a moral obligation.
[sixtieth in a series]