eight years in the making

In 2006, the Seahawks lost the Super Bowl.

In 2006, Walter Jones cleared lanes for Shaun Alexander and pass protected for "We want the ball and we're gonna score" Matt Hasselbeck. The Hawks' eventual undoing came at the hands of a quarterback who shares Wilson's adeptness at improvisation, and/or at the hands of a referee who later apologized for "kicking several calls."

In 2006, Pete Carroll was just another college coach to root against, Russell Wilson was a two-star prep athlete, Marshawn Lynch was breaking tackles for the Cal Bears, and Richard Sherman was probably trolling someone on XBox between classes at Stanford.

In 2006, I didn't live-blog the Super Bowl, nor did I tweet it, as Twitter was invented, oddly enough, that same month.

In 2006, I wasn't a dad.

* * *

In 2014, I have three kids. Carsten, at sixteen months, can sign "football," although he says it "buh-baw." Keira and Miranda, 10 and 11, rebuff the neighbor kids who think the Hawks can't win it all.

In 2014, I'm not going to live-blog the game, but I'd imagine I'll work out my issues on Twitter, as we all do.

In 2014, Pete Carroll is a guru of self-actualization, Russell Wilson is the Little Quarterback Who Could, Marshawn Lynch silently beast modes through hails of Skittles, and Richard Sherman trolls his opponents after he takes away their Precious.

In 2014, Walter Jones is a first-ballot hall-of-famer. Shaun Alexander lives out the Madden Curse somewhere in Federal Way. Matt Hasselbeck is a backup quarterback for the Colts. No one from the '06 Seahawks remains on the squad--and no one on the Seahawks has a shred of Super Bowl experience. It doesn't matter.

In 2014, the Seahawks are going to win the Super Bowl.

the zen mastery of Marshawn Lynch

The Seattle Seahawks--this blog's Super Bowl favorites--are blessed with two of the greatest talents in football. One has talk to match the game; the other is all game, no talk.

I refer, of course, to Richard Sherman and Marshawn Lynch.

Sherman recently made waves for a post-game tirade that sent shock waves through Twitter, woke up a bunch of dumb racists, gave some pundits the vapors, fired up a million op-eds on the State of Sport, launched at least sixteen sociology lectures on otherwise dull college campuses, led to an eventual apology, jazzed up an already-hyped Media Day, and is probably still echoing in Centurylink Field at this moment.

Lynch, on the other hand, garnered a since-retracted $50,000 fine for not talking with a microphone in his face, and then turned a mandatory Media Day appearance into a series of zen koans.

No, really:

It was legendary. It’s like he was speaking in yearbook quotes. “I’m just ’bout that action, boss” single-handedly got me fired up for Super Bowl. “I ain’t never seen no talking win me nothing” should be our answer to stupid questions everywhere. “Lay back, kick back, mind my business, stay in my own lane” is the American Dream and should be printed on money.

And in the end, the only thing I’ll always remember from my first media day is the one guy who talked the least, and someone I never actually saw in person. For an event that makes no sense in 10 different ways, that’s pretty much perfect.

Since Marshawn Lynch is likely to be the Super Bowl MVP (you read it here, though I doubt first), I offer him some epigrams to deploy at the post-game presser.

"Whereof one cannot speak, one must thereof be silent."

--Ludwig Wittgenstein


"The wren
Earns his living
Noiselessly."

--Issa


"Silence is more eloquent than words."

--Thomas Carlyle


"The talkative parrot is shut up in a cage. Other birds, without speech, fly freely about."

--Saskya Pandita

Pick any one, but just one, Marshawn. You're welcome.

And Go Hawks.

Linnenkohl gets his shot

Congratulations to Capital grad Alex Linnenkohl, who was signed by the Chicago Bears to a 3-year contract, getting a shot at center. The Olympian reports:

Linnenkohl, who finished his college career last season as one of Oregon State’s all-time best centers, signed a rookie free agent contract with the Chicago Bears on Tuesday afternoon, fulfilling his longtime dream of getting a chance to play in the NFL. He was one of two undrafted centers signed by Chicago, joining Mississippi State’s J.C. Brignone.

“This is all I’ve ever wanted,” Linnenkohl said Tuesday from Olivet Nazarene University in Bourbonnais, Ill., where the Bears will begin training camp Saturday. “It’s pretty surreal right now. It hasn’t really hit me yet.”

What follows is one of those I-knew-him-when's: Back in 2006, I appeared on the same stage as Linnenkohl in an improv comedy show. The papers always report his work ethic (second-to-none) and his determination (at only 303 pounds, he's small for a center), but what they miss is his quick wit and killer sense of humor.

Best of luck, Alex. Strike that: do what brought you here, and keep working hard. If you get a Superbowl ring before the Seahawks do, I won't even complain.

I forgive Bill Leavy

Bill Leavy admits he goofed:

"It was a tough thing for me. I kicked two calls in the fourth quarter and I impacted the game, and as an official you never want to do that," said the veteran of 15 NFL seasons and two Super Bowls.

"It left me with a lot of sleepless nights, and I think about it constantly," Leavy said of the game in February 2006. "I'll go to my grave wishing that I'd been better."

What is a fan's forgiveness worth? Not much, especially after four and a half years. But I forgive Bill Leavy.

football for nerds, and nerds for football

1. Kevin Kelley of Pulaski Academy High explains his team's no-kick approach to football. The short story: it's all about the numbers, and the numbers say keep possession.

2. In an excerpt from his book Eating the Dinosaur, Chuck Klosterman explains why he loves football more at 37 than he ever did at 17. The short story: it's all about the game's radical/conservative duality.

Who says nerds can't love / rule sports?

the last analog Super Bowl

...will go to the dynasty instead of the upstart. I don't want it to happen, but the Steelers are going to win, 17-14.

As always, don't bet on sports.

Update: I was a little cautious with the score, but the outcome was as predicted. The Steelers prevailed, barely, in a penalty-racked contest with a stirring finale and, quite possibly, the most coach and booth challenges in Bowl history.

today's football links

1. Making my schadenfreude complete, the Jets fired Eric "Mangenious" Mangini.

2. Rod Marinelli got the boot, too, after the Lions ended the season 0-16. It was the perfect conclusion to an otherwise unremarkable NFL year.

3. Mike Holmgren, bless him, is done. The Seahawks lost to Arizona in his honor.

4. Remember the quiz about the NFL's obscure / obscurantist rules? Well, there are plenty more that make the game more convoluted than any other sport, except perhaps curling.

5. Vegas likes a Giants / Titans Super Bowl. Colts / Eagles. You heard it here first. (Don't bet on sports.)

Added: 6. After years of stagnation, NFL offenses are set to evolve.

Seattle sports and the end of a (really bad) dream

2008 is almost behind us, and with it, the worst year in Seattle sports history.

You know a city is having a bad year when its biggest fan is forced to draw inspiration from the possibility of watching Jose Vidro, Willie Bloomquist and Richie Sexson play the last-place Washington Nationals.

The thing is, though, Seattle's sports year isn't even that bad yet as Big Lo lies in the hospital with summer approaching. The Mariners aren't even halfway to becoming the first team to lose 100 games with a payroll of more than $100 million, nor have they fired their first manager of the season, let alone their second. The Washington Huskies have yet to suffer a single one of their historic 12 losses or fire their coach or get called for delay of game on their first play from scrimmage. (Delay of game on your first offensive play of a game -- how is that possible? What, did Kenny G play the national anthem?) The preseason magazines hitting the newsstands are picking the Seahawks to win the NFC West for the fifth straight year, not lose 11 games (and counting) on the way to saying goodbye to their coach, Mike Holmgren. And most importantly, the SuperSonics trial over their lease has yet to begin, so there still is hope they will remain in Seattle rather than move to Oklahoma @$&%ing City.

So it's probably best Big Lo finds himself in the hospital in June before the year really gets bad for Seattle, before the year repeatedly reduces him to tears and before he starts routinely asking, "Did we do something wrong?"

I can't say I've shed any tears--or punched any walls, for that matter--but I've learned to appreciate the works of Marcus Aurelius.

I've got your schadenfreude right here

On the heels of the Jets' magnificently stupid loss to the Seahawks, sportswriters east of here are calling for the thick head of Eric Mangini. A sampling follows.

Will Leitch:

Sure, the Jets still have a chance to make the playoffs, though it’s not much more of a chance than the 0–15 Detroit Lions have. They need to beat Pennington and the Dolphins in the Meadowlands, and they have to hope that the Patriots lose to the Bills AND the Baltimore Ravens lose to the Jacksonville Jaguars. This is extremely unlikely. It is more likely that the Jets, facing a tumultuous off-season, are going to look even more different next year than they did after all the changes this year. This team is over. Eric Mangini is likely over. And Brett Favre is almost certainly over.

Rich Cimini:

It was one of the Jets' worst losses ever, and it is THE worst collapse in team history - assuming they don't make the playoffs. Does anybody think they'll beat Chad Pennington?

From talking to players after the game, they're demoralized, confused, angry and emotionally drained.

They're Jets. It's what they do. It's how they roll.

Mackenzie Kraemer:

I've defended to the death that "Same Old Jets" is gone. But I now understand a lot of what older fans see when they watch the Jets play. The collapse this season is high in the pantheon in great Jet disappointments.

Bob Glauber:

After yesterday's pathetic outing against the Seahawks and his old coach, Mike Holmgren, this much is certain: Favre is done after this year. Kaput. If the Jets ask him back after this late-season meltdown, they're even wackier than I thought. Barring a playoff berth and at least two postseason wins, Favre is at the end.

Mangini should be, too, especially if at this time next week, the Jets are putting their equipment in black plastic bags and explaining how it all went so horribly wrong.

If Mangini doesn't get to the playoffs, the Jets need to show him the door. No excuses. No explanations. He was on board with the Favre decision, and he must pay the price if the collapse is completed next week.

I'm a Seattle sports fan. Schadenfreude's all I've got.

Eric Mangini's gift to Mike Holmgren

In (quite possibly) Holmgren's last game at Qwest Field, Jets coach Eric Mangini presented a neatly wrapped gift: a win, bow-tied in three simple steps.

1. Kick a field goal in the first quarter on 4th-and-short near the goal line. After an efficient first possession, where it seems there's no way the Hawks D can stop Thomas Jones on the ground, or Favre through the air, the Jets come away with only 3 points.

2. Not kick a field goal right after your (excellent) kicker has nailed a 45-yarder waved off for delay of game. Instead, with a 50-yarder in his future, Mangini calls on the punting unit, and A.J. Feely pouts from the sideline. For about five televised minutes. The Jets, instead of being down 4, are down 7.

3. Not punt from your own 20 yard line on 4th-and-2, with 2:21 left, down 10-3. Favre throws downfield, incompletion, and Olindo Mare kicks a textbook field goal on the Hawks' ensuing possession. 13-3, game over. Josh Wilson's later interception is almost superfluous.

The only possible explanation I can muster for all three calls is that Eric Mangini really, really likes Mike Holmgren.

ignorance of the law is no excuse

Rick Reilly gives Donovan McNabb--who didn't know an NFL game could end in a tie--a little revenge by quizzing other (equally clueless) NFL players on some of the more obscure rules in the canon. A sample:

Q: If a punt is in the air while the game clock expires and the receiver signals and makes a fair catch, is the game over?

• Danny Clark, LB, Giants: "Yes."
• [Sam] Madison: "Yes."
• Damon Huard, QB, Chiefs: "If the punter touched it, then the game is over."
• Ray Rice, RB, Ravens: "Yes."
• [Calvin] Pace: "Yes. It's an untimed play, isn't it?"

For the answer, read the whole thing.

sports will break your heart

Item: ESPN takes a long-term look at the 2005 NFL draft, and finds many of its instant evaluations essentially worthless.

Who knew the 10th overall pick, wide receiver Mike Williams, was going to be a bust in Detroit, or that fifth-round pick defensive end Trent Cole was going to be a Pro Bowler? These twists of fate are what make the draft worth watching, but they also are why it's tough to tell how good a team did on draft day until three years later.

Arizona, Detroit, and Minnesota got hit the hardest. Fully a fifth of the class of '05 are no longer in the league.

Item: The Sonics' owners are weasels.

E-mails obtained by lawyers for the city of Seattle show Sonics owners were talking enthusiastically last April about moving the franchise to Oklahoma City — despite telling the public and the NBA they were still interested in keeping the team here.

The city cited the e-mails in a motion filed Wednesday in a New York federal court seeking to enforce a subpoena for NBA financial documents and other records.

But you already knew that.

Item: Nevertheless, hope springs eternal.

the Isaacson-Tarbell Postulate and you

Looking for as close to a surefire NFL prediction scheme as you're going to find? Gregg Easterbrook explains:

Last summer, readers Eric Isaacson and Catey Tarbell proposed this simple prediction algorithm: Best Record Wins; If Records Equal, Home Team Wins. Their idea, which TMQ dubbed the Isaacson-Tarbell Postulate, ruled the landscape of NFL predictions, finishing the season 183-84, or 69 percent correct. Of the dozens of NFL predictors TMQ tracked, John Czarnecki of Fox Sports had the best finish, at 183-84; ESPN's best predictor was Keyshawn Johnson at 176-91. So the Isaacson-Tarbell Postulate outperformed all but one football expert, which it tied. And here's the beauty of the Isaacson-Tarbell Postulate: You don't need incredible insider information; you don't need to spend hours in fevered contemplation; you don't even need to know who's playing. Simply always check-mark the team with the best record, or, if their records are equal, check-mark the home team. Whatever you do, don't think! I conducted a parallel experiment of forecasting all games using the Isaacson-Tarbell Postulate unless I felt really sure about a game going differently. A few times I was right where the Postulate was wrong, but on the season, this approach finished 179-88. That is, thinking about who might win was less successful than sticking to the formula. When making NFL picks, never think!

And don't bet on sports.

things to come

Huckabee will bow out after Super Tuesday. It'll be sad--I'm going to miss his baffling foreign policy views, his bizarre supporters, and his folksy lite wisdom / recipes.

The Giants will win the Super Bowl. Up against the soulless, life-crushing machine, they may not have the odds behind 'em, but they've got heart. Rocky IV comes to Arizona this Sunday.

In a surprise move, John Edwards will endorse John McCain. Think about it.

No Country for Old Men will win the Best Picture Oscar, but not Best Director. Or vice versa. I think it deserves both, but I didn't get a ballot.

Update: The Giants won, thanks to the most incredible postseason catch since the Immaculate Reception. All hail Tyree!

weekend recap with tacky ties

The Seahawks got Favred. I spent over 24 hours at the UPS speech and debate tournament. It didn't snow. Fred Thompson awoke from hibernation. I posted these tacky ties too long after the fact.

Seahawks liveblog: the playoffs start here

1:33
Jamie Moyer, yes, that Jamie Moyer, raises the 12th Person flag and leads the cheers as Seattle kicks off. We can't lose.

1:36
A three-and-out opens things. Our defense is our strong suit this year, and it shows early. Better hope we can keep Portis to short gains all afternoon.

1:39
1. Pass to Burleson, first down.
2. Pass to Engram, first down.
3. Timeout, because Hasselbeck, the TiVo quarterback, is overthinking things, as is his custom. Not always a bad thing.

1:43
Oh, Hasselbeck. Get that to Obomanu, and we're in business. Instead, Plackemeier has to come in to pin Washington deep. At least the offense appears to have life, which hasn't always been the case this season. We've had a spluttering fuse early, most games.

1:47
I can't remember a time this season where the Seahawks forced a team to punt out of the endzone.

1:48
Note: an end-around is not a reverse.

1:49
Portis stuffed like a Christmas turkey. DEEEE-FENSE. DEEEE-FENSE.

1:58
Alexander fumbled? Nope, he was down, thank goodness. How the refs got that one wrong, I'll leave to the T/R/P.

2:01
At least they got the replay right. First and 10, Hawks, red zone. And it's a draw play... to... Weaver? Didn't expect that, did you, Washington? 6 on the board. Wow.

Hawks 7, District of Columbia 0.

2:06
If Washington's smart, they'll run a lot more playaction passes, the Achilles ankle of the Seattle secondary. If you can freeze Lofa Tatupu for even a split second, the middle opens up. With Other Moss and Randle El, the Washington receiver corps is a scary group.

2:10
Kerney busts through and breaks up what looked to be some Portis trickery gone awry. The pass to Moss is broken up, and Washington is punting again. DEEE-FENSE.

2:16
Two trends collide: great punt that won't probably pin them deep, after a declined penalty because we'll never get a fourth-and-inches. C'mon, defense. Prove me wrong. Update: They don't, allowing Portis to sneak up to the 12 yard line after a costly offsides penalty.

First Quarter Wrapup
Seattle's offense and defense are both a mixed bag--spurts of greatness, with enough mediocrity to make things interesting. But Washington's looking worse, especially on offense. Too much football left, but I stand by my prediction. We'll take this one by 3.

2:22
Was his arm going forward? Kerney nearly ripped it off, but Collins somehow got the ball to scoot forward. Hawks recover, but here comes the challenge flag. I think this one's going back to D.C. Update: Yep. Incomplete pass, tuck rule and all that. Once again, Portis is stuffed like a trophy buck.

2:29
Collins looks a little rattled, and the defense holds. Burleson is finding a way to ooch yards out of these returns when it appears all is lost. Fun fact learned in-game: Burleson leads the league in punt return yardage.

2:34
I love Hasselbeck's lob pass to Burleson--we've seen that a lot this season. If it weren't for a couple bad drops, we'd be way ahead already. Here comes Josh Brown for the automatic 50-yarder. Oh yeah.

2:36
Whose country is this, anyway? Better ask a truck company.

2:41
Collins goes to Caldwell, instead of Moss or Randle El, and he drops it. DEEE-FENSE.

2:45
Interference. On Hackett. Yeah... Springs had perfect position. Hasselbeck is a tough guy, still in there with a banged-up hand.

Another drop. Ack.

Burning questions:

1. How much of the game's strategy hinges on the Hawks' inability to get a fourth-and-short?

2. At the end of the day, how much will the refs matter in this contest?

3. Can Hasselbeck stay healthy long enough to lead his team to victory?

4. Is this ourrrrr countreeeee?

2:49
Yeah, I own the old Chevy Malibu--the rental / grandma car--and it's pretty ignorable. But it holds up well in the snow.

2:52
Another sack--this defense, which has saved game after game this season, is looking like one of the best in the league right now.

2:57
Nice glimpse of a bloodied, intense Patrick Kerney.

2:59
Liveblogging rips a hole in the space-time quilt.

3:00
Portis stuffed like a Beanie Baby, and Deon Grant makes a heckuva play. DEEE-FENSE.

3:02
A home-field spot, which'll be reviewed. This one... coming back, I fear. Update ...although the epistemic barrier is high...

3:05
Thank you, epistemology! Seattle escapes, and can close out for the half, if they're careful. Also, thanks to Washington's decision to receive, we'll get the ball back.

Umm... why are we passing?

Halftime Wrapup
We're in control of the game, but we haven't put the knife under the ribs and twisted it, yet, so Washington's still in it. No surprise, really--they're a tough squad.

Stars of the half:

Julian Peterson and Patrick Kerney, who kept the O-line off balance for a good part of the half.

Ryan Plackemeier, whose punts kept us mostly out of major trouble.

Leonard Weaver, who surprised the hell out of DC's D.

John "Cougar" Mellencamp

3:11
Strangest play of the game so far: Holmgren calls timeout with :01 left in the half, and Joe Gibbs--who's made some gaffes earlier in the season, because of some rule changes--wisely runs the football, instead of punting and allowing a potential field-goal try. Clinton Portis gets a pretty good run out of it--for a split second, I'm thinking, Oh no, he's getting into the secondary--but he was tackled to end the half.

If that play goes for a touchdown, do you think Holmgren would retire on the spot?

3:21
Whoa... that cars-morphing-into-flying-amoebae thing was pretty wild. I will no longer believe anything I see on television.

3:23
Here comes the second half. Another burning question: Has there ever been a nationally-televised Seattle playoff contest that hasn't featured the flying fish?

3:26
Alexander narrowly missed breaking that one. Here comes a pass... for no gain. Weird call. Where's the slanty-west-coastness?

3:28
Bobby Engram looks like Marcus Trufant on that one. Another deep fair catch: Plackemeier is my hero.

3:31
Oooh, some motion in the Washington backfield. Tricks no one.

Grr... Randle El is still the one to stop.

3:32
Clinton Portis does his best 2007 Shaun Alexander impersonation. Whoa... Todd Collins is about the worst running QB you'll ever see. A slide for two yards!

3:34
Frost has two of the best plays of the game so far: pushing Burleson out in the first half, and now a nice tackle to save a big gain. DEEE-FENSE.

3:37
Here's our west-coast-lovin' back. Burleson, Engram for short gains. Let's chew some clock and score, people.

Remember what I said above about those lob passes? Springs is looking pretty terrible in the DC secondary.

3:40
A glancing blow instead of a knockout punch. We should run a draw play on 3rd-and-7 and a blitz package, but oh well.

Seattle 13, Foggy Bottom 0.

3:49
Randle El and Cooley are saving Collins' bacon right now. Meanwhile, Clinton Portis is having a forgettable day, 17 rushes for 38 yards. No first down on 3rd and 1, either. Ouch.

3:54
That's a killer PI penalty, but completely justified. Gibbs' gutsy play call is rewarded. (Hmm... playaction? Who'da thunkit?)

Third Quarter Wrapup
Once again, our inability to put the game away means that Washington has plenty of life left. We're actually 4:00 behind in the time-of-possession battle, unable to sustain a long drive. I'm cautiously optimistic, but can't put the Rolaids away just yet.

3:58
No surprise that Randle El is the first to take it home for Washington. Our defense risks getting tired more than anything--we're starting to miss tackles, and having trouble getting to the quarterback.

Seattle 13, Nation's Capital 7.

4:03
Gaaaaaaaaah!

Update: GAAAAAAAAAAH!

4:07
Sometimes this season, I've thought to myself, "We don't play with any real fire, offense-wise, until we're down." Hope that's true.

4:08
GahhhAAAH?!!

4:10
The announcer notes what I noticed earlier: Seattle's not getting to Collins, and it's killing us.

4:12
I just threw my cell phone at the wall, to see if it would stick.

4:14
[Desperately trying to reassemble cell phone as Suisham misses a chip shot.]

4:15
How in the heck did Hasselbeck huck it to Hackett?

Also, draw plays make me happy.

Interceptions don't.

4:20
Marcus Trufant might have just saved the game. With that friendly bounce, the Seahawks are in prime comeback position. As long as Hasselbeck doesn't toss another pick...

4:23
Think Springs is going to have nightmares about this game? What a catch by Burleson.

4:24
That was a helluva pump fake. Wow. Hackett takes it to the house, and we're ahead. Pollard redeems himself, and now...

It's up to the defense, as always. DEEE-FENSE. ROOOL-AIDS.

4:28
Well......... shades of the Eagles game, earlier this year. I still trust we'll win it.

4:30
Thank you, Todd Collins, and DEEE-FENSE, and Marcus Trufant, and no penalty. THANK YOU. Oh, and to Santana Moss, too, who showed us why he's Other Moss by giving up on the play.

4:32
And the kick is good.

Seattle 28, Potomac Tribe 14.

4:35
Craig Terrill, this time, makes Collins pay. Another screen, and Portis goes down, weirdly. This does not bode well for Washington.

4:38
Closing speed! Kelly Jennings bats it down. The secondary, for the most part, is playing tough in the second half. Trufant, especially, saved this game. Nice that he's in on the last gasp for Washington, as Collins throws it too high, too far out. Player of the game.

4:45
The new Knight Rider is a... a... Mustang? Yes, that's what I'm reduced to caring about, as this game is done, done, done.

4:49
And Babineaux's interception for a touchdown is just so much gravy. Trufant with the nice block, too.

Postgame Wrapup
Nothing much to add--'tis all above. Trufant, game ball. Plackemeier, special mention. DEEE-FENSE finally puts the antacids away for good. Thanks to Emmett and the TRP for hanging out. Bring on the Packers.

Seattle 35, Washington 14

Seahawks primed for another tense playoff run

All around the region, antacids are flying off the shelves faster than a Hasselbeck strike to Bobby Engram for 13 yards and a first down. Tomorrow Seattle plays Washington in the first round of the NFL playoffs. Even though we're favored to win, playing in the loudest home stadium in football against a team that scraped into the playoffs by beating a nonchalant Dallas squad, led by a veteran QB and some absolutely killer defensive backs, coached by Seattle's all-time wins leader, we're still going to be watching with our knees at our elbows and our double venti mochas set to decaf. We're jittery enough as it is.

Why the angst? Shaun Alexander and the Cast Apparently Made of Spirit-Sapping and Not To Mention Extremely Heavy Uranium. Mike Holmgren's inexplicable clock non-management. Blown lead after blown lead, even in victories. The debacle in Pittsburgh. And, worst of all, we couldn't convert fourth-and-inches if Billy Graham was praying over the ball.

Bill Simmons sums it up:

By the way, this feels like the 27th straight year that the poor Seattle fans have talked themselves into the whole, "I know we're not that good, but if X happens, and Y happens, and Z happens, we might be able to sneak into the Super Bowl!" It's becoming a January tradition right up there with Vince Carter getting hurt and Fox kicking off a new season of "American Idol."

Even so, even so, even so...

Seahawks 24, Washington 21. Pass me the Rolaids. And don't bet on sports.

Update, 5:10 p.m., 1/5 I was too conservative, but the game was closer than the final score revealed. 35-14 the final. Go Hawks!

Also, here are my other first round predictions:

Steelers over Jaguars
I like Roethlisberger in the playoffs.

San Diego over Tennessee
Same reasons as the TRP's.

Tampa Bay over New York
Defense wins it. Eli Manning will throw at least three picks.

The Sports Gal is living proof

Filling in for The Sports Guy, his wife does an admirable job explaining why betting on sports is foolish.

Don't get me wrong, I knew what I was in for when I married him. Still, it's been nice to trounce him this season and humiliate him on a famous sports Web site. Even though he claims that this was the point of our ongoing picks experiment -- "the more you know, the less you know" -- I say he's lying through his teeth and he'd much rather be the one who is 23 games over 50/50. What kills him is that he knows how little thought I put into my picks. Here, watch. I'll take you through my picks process and "think out loud." I looked at each game, jotted down my thoughts and quickly made the pick, then expanded them for each pick after the fact.

If I didn't make it clear enough, I never spend more than 90 seconds total on my picks.

Just to prove the point, here's her rationale for picking the Bengals over the Dolphins:

If it's an all-animal matchup, I always try to weigh that accordingly. Dolphins are cuddly and nice. I don't understand why any NFL team would wear aqua blue unis and call itself "The Dolphins," then not expect to get its butt kicked. They should go with the Spearfishers. I would have taken them if they were the Spearfishers.

Remember, she could lose every pick this last week, and still finish ahead of Bill.

Don't bet on sports.

gotta take the good with the bad

Good: Shaun of the Dead, especially in tandem with Hot Fuzz. I had forgotten scenes that tie the two together in a brilliant, brilliant way. Thanks to my wife, to Christmas, and to British humor everywhere.

Bad: Sinus infection.

Bad: Alexander Graham Bell might have been a patent-peeking hack.

Good-Bad: The NFL and its eponymous network have caved, and will let nonsubscribers watch the Patriots' first-rate second string against the Giants' second-rate second string in a potentially history-making matchup. Yay!

Bad-Bad: Aliens Vs. Predator: Requiem. Does a non-sequel sequel require a sequel? No. It does not.

a Monday night of muck and mire

On the way to their most recent defeat, the Dolphins had to endure the worst nature could throw at them:

Lightning chased the players off the field during the pregame warmups, and the teams were given only nine minutes for additional warmups before the game started at 8:55 p.m., 25 minutes later than scheduled.

After five high school and college games were played at Heinz Field last weekend, crews hurriedly put down a new layer of sod atop the chewed-up turf for Monday night's game.

"It was like being on the beach in the sand on every play," said Miami linebacker Joey Porter, the former Steelers star playing against his old team for the first time.

The delayed start meant no national anthem or player introductions. The rain washed away nearly all the yard lines on a new grass field that had been in place less than 24 hours, and Heinz Field crews hurriedly put down new lines at halftime.

"It was nasty," Miami linebacker Channing Crowder said....

Late in the third quarter, Brandon Fields' punt from near the Miami goal line came straight down and plugged in the drenched turf like an arrow, burying itself several inches deep.

Reminds me of a now-infamous home game at Elma High School's old Davis Field, back before it was "improved." I was a senior in the marching band, first trumpet.

The field was bowed up in the middle, so far that when you stood on one sideline, you could see only the upper halves of the players on the other side. Drainage was atrocious. During the rainy season--all year, pretty much--the turf was reeking black mud several inches thick.

On a particularly rainy night late in the autumn, with an already nasty field chewed up beyond recognition, the marching band and drill team headed out at halftime to put on a show. I stood near the front as we slogged through the slab, trying to keep my shoes on as fellow band geeks lost theirs to the suction of the mire. We stood, shivering and soaking, as the drill team, God bless 'em, started their routine.

They went through the whole show, which ended in the row of about ten girls doing the splits in three inches of soggy, stinking ooze. To a standing ovation.