fresh-mixed metaphor

Today, while the world teeters on the brink on a very nasty cold, I offer you a spot of cheer, the polyester equivalent of chicken soup.

Which would obviously contain M&Ms.

[originally posted here]

the beard turns one (week)

It's been a little over a week since To Beard or Not To Beard began. Seems appropriate to celebrate the occasion with a brand new tacky tie. (Celebration is better than desolation, right?)

The beard in 23% of its glory:


The tie in all its glory:

a new tacky tie

By "new," I mean "gently used," and by "used," I mean "abandoned."

Not any longer.

stripes and... what?

A brand new--which is to say, new to me--tacky tie for Tuesday, September 15th.

Not sure if it's supposed to be reminiscent of a Band-Aid.

a tie made out of cake

The last day of school--for me, at least, because of the trip to Birmingham--was Friday the 12th. To celebrate a crazy, wonderful year, one of the students in my 4th period class really wanted to bring in a dessert. Thursday she asked me if I enjoyed cake. "Of course," I said, having no idea that the cake was bound to bear my name and a likeness of my hallmark.

Twenty-eight slices of heaven: a tacky tie with raspberry filling.

[Cross-posted, of course, at the delectable tie blog.]

a little dose of tacky

Patterns are staid, conservative even. Except when they arrive from the 70s via a time warp.


This beauty, when seen from a distance, is an explosion of pastels, but up close is reminiscent of Rothko--if Rothko had tuned in, turned on, and dropped out. (Oh, wait--he did!)


[Photos cross-posted here.]

that new tie smell

In the past few weeks, I've scored some new tacky ties, gifts guaranteed to beat depression, illness, and anomie.

At right, the classic "flying toasters" (with concomitant toast) get the neckwear treatment. More found here.

no normal neckwear

Sometimes students ask, Don't you have any normal ties?

No. I don't.

[Originally posted here.]

Brian Williams wouldn't dare

Apparently a fellow English teacher keeps track of Brian Williams' ties, and writes about them on the longest-named blog in the universe.

I have a sneaking suspicion that its author, "Nance," is actually Brian Williams himself, angry and jealous of the man who wears truly revolutionary neckwear.


[link via The Times]

connect the dots

[ties found here]

my National Board edge

You can assemble the greatest evidence in the world. You can write and rewrite, revise and re-revise until your printer's out of toner and your brain's out of glucose. You can attend all the workshops and cohort meetings and study sessions you want. But when it all comes down, if you don't have an edge, you're not going to gain National Board certification.

What was my edge?

The ties.

It was all the ties.

two dreams, two ties

My debate-addled mind has been inventing bizarre dreams again. Last night, two, coinciding with the (late) ties featured.

In the first, I am shot in the stomach by someone wielding a plastic, almost toy-like gun that uses magnetic rail technology to rapidly disperse tiny, yet lethal, bullets. My assailant, though he drops me, does not kill me. Which is bad for him when I come back with a higher caliber.
In the second dream, I'm living in Elma again. When I leave my Chevy running in front of the house, a stranger steals it--then, miraculously, drives it through the front door of the neighbors' house, presumably to hide it in the living room. As I wake up, I am jogging, gelatinously, toward him.

[Ties found here.]

go time

Our first debate tournament of the season starts this afternoon. If the blog seems a little quiet, with random outbursts of philosophizing, that's why.

From Tacky Ties 10 24 08

From Tacky Ties 10 24 08

This week's ties originally posted here.

poly and rayon

Two tacky ties, each a little late. It's been... busy. No injuries, at least.

never mind the recession

Tuesday and Thursday, in succession.

Because these guys could stand some polyester cheer.

you say you want a resolution

The new NFL Lincoln-Douglas and Public Forum resolutions arrive within hours, and, consequently, my life is about to be sucked into a vortex of nerditude. Here's a celebratory tacky tie to announce the official onset of the debate season.

nifty science images

1. One of the winners from the International Science and Engineering Visualiz... too tired to finish. That's what links are for.



2. One of the runners-up.

green, yet not green

1. Green: riding the bus almost every day, except for yesterday, when I'm at school from dawn 'til post-dusk, Open House, which, despite arriving a season early, is actually the longest night of the year.

2. Not green: I've been teaching for 6.2 years, if you count the summer school stint that started it all, when I was fresh out of Evergreen's Master in Teaching program. I remember the first time I presented at Open House: I struggled to fill 10 minutes for each miniature class period. Now, I run out of time.

3. Green: yesterday's tie.

4. Not green: leaves, locally.

5. Green: If I'm not a rookie, why did I forget my lunch?

power of polyester

I think I survived a bout with the common cold--congestion and nasal drip came and went in two days--even though my students have been dropping like catkins in a breeze, decimated by gastrointestinal bugs and strep throat.

Last time, I blamed the tie for cursing me. I was so, so wrong. The tie is the only thing keeping me on my feet.

a cure for the common rhino

Today, illustrating how seemingly disparate words can be joined at the root, I employed "carat" and "rhinoceros." Each derives from the Greek keras, for "horn." "Rhino," I explained, means "nose." "For example, a rhinovirus is the common cold, right?"

Right, said students.

I'm not much for magical thinking, but I may have cursed myself.