trauma and nostalgia at the 25th Annual Putnam County Spelling Bee

When my sister told me that she had three free tickets for the SecondStory Repertory's production of The 25th Annual Putnam County Spelling Bee, (through April 30th; see it!) I was cautiously pessimistic. I was a little worried that the trauma of past failures would keep me from fully enjoying the show's irreverent sendup of the nerdiest of nerd pastimes.

When she said that she wanted to volunteer me to take part in the Bee, though, my whole attitude changed. All of a sudden it became yet another nerdy adventure--I've recently had a few--and a chance to re-experience the trauma firsthand.

So of course I said yes.

Upon signing up to be one of four non-actor contestants, I was given three simple instructions:

1. Always ask for a definition.
2. Always ask for the word to be used in a sentence.
3. Don't act.

The first two were essential to set up jokes. The third instruction was to ensure the right contrast between the actors and the amateurs. If I had attempted to ham it up--and believe me, the temptation was real--I might've spoiled the show. So I didn't act.

I just spelled.

The first word was easy: "xanadu." My only concern was that I'd make a silly mistake and screw up--my pulse raced, my voice broke a little at the end, but I nailed it. I didn't expect real nerves for a fake bee, but there they were.

The second was easier: "putsch." Also easy. I had encountered it in a real bee back in the late 80s, and I believe I misspelled it then. No way I would fail this time.

I forget the third word, which I spelled right, either because it wasn't a real word, or I was darned lucky. (It was an Irish something, starts with a K, and I can't find it in my unabridged Webster's.)

I figured it was my time to exit the show when I was called up immediately afterward. Lo and behold, I went out on "pheochromocytoma," which I heard wrong, starting with a T, so they sounded the fateful bell, leading to the hug and serenade and juice box from Mitch.

At least I was the last non-actor standing. Ignominious defeat never felt so good.

don't fear the radioactive reaper

Did I use xkcd's awesome radiation dose chart in class today, to anchor a discussion of visual literacy, risk assessment, weather patterns, movie hype, nuclear physics, unreasonable fear, and the awesomeness of nerds?

Yes I did.

And I'd do it again.

your homework, due April 4th

Baseball websites are bursting at the seams with statistics of every stripe. (Yes, I went there--twice.) And now, remarkably, you can find a series of the web's best intros to the various methods of sabermetrics all in one place.

Now you have no excuse.



[via Dave Cameron]

the next Maddux?

Zach Greinke: not just a pitcher's pitcher, but a stathead. Ever since Greg Maddux retired, we've needed a bellwether nerd on the mound. Thank goodness for Zach Greinke.

football for nerds, and nerds for football

1. Kevin Kelley of Pulaski Academy High explains his team's no-kick approach to football. The short story: it's all about the numbers, and the numbers say keep possession.

2. In an excerpt from his book Eating the Dinosaur, Chuck Klosterman explains why he loves football more at 37 than he ever did at 17. The short story: it's all about the game's radical/conservative duality.

Who says nerds can't love / rule sports?

throw more curveballs

Steven Levitt and Ken Kovash claim that pitchers, among other athletes, are too predictable:

They first analysed over 3 million pitches thrown in major-league baseball games between 2002 and 2006. For each type of pitch, they measured the batter's "OPS" – a number that represents how likely a batter is to reach a base or to make a big hit. They found, on average, that fastballs tended to give batters 20 per cent higher OPS than curveballs.

If pitchers played according to minimax, the OPS for curveballs and fastballs should be the same, but in fact pitchers gave batters a slight edge by throwing too many fastballs.

Levitt and Kovash then looked at whether or not pitchers chose their pitches as unpredictably as minimax theory says they should. They found that when a pitcher threw a fastball, his next pitch was 4 per cent less likely to be a fastball as well. If pitchers played truly rationally, there would be no such bias towards switching the type of pitch. "Pitchers are being just a little too cute on the mound when they're switching back and forth so often," says Kovash.

Read the entire thing for the (predictable) caveats and nay-saying. OPS isn't the be-all end-all of baseball stats, for one.

I wonder how a pitcher who dialed up pitches totally randomly would fare in the bigs. It could be pretty interesting: randomness means the possibility of, say, throwing five fastballs in a row, then a curve, then four more fastballs. There'd be no such thing as a "fastball count," and a batter who thought that a curveball was "due" would fall prey to the gambler's fallacy.

he fielded it... with science!

Jack Wilson, Seattle's new shortstop, serves up a little science to The News Tribune's Larry LaRue:

“I started to watch a batter’s hands and feet, his elbow and shoulders, his swing pass. Then, depending on your pitcher and what pitch he’s about to throw, you know what the hitter is most likely to do,” he said.

“I got good enough that in Pittsburgh, they let me set the infield defense. I moved an outfielder one time and one of the coaches asked why. I showed him the video of the hitter’s first swing and said, ‘Look at that. There’s no way he was going to be able to pull a ball with that swing.’ After that, they trusted me.”

It was more than study in the field. Wilson read up on the opposition.

“If a guy is in a slump, for instance, what’s he going to try to do? Keep the ball up the middle, go the other way. That’s how you try to get out of a slump,” Wilson said. “Pulling the ball gets you into slumps, it doesn’t get you out. So if a guy is in a slump, it doesn’t make sense to play him to pull.”

Glad to hear Wilson takes the Greg Maddux to the game: study, discipline, maximum effort--a welcome change from the laissez faire style of his predecessor.

Just stay out of Wilson's way when he's heating the Florence flask.



Update: The Times' Larry Stone explains why Wilson chose baseball over soccer--and how the world's game has helped him compete in America's pastime.

today's nerdy links

1. Why does a curveball appear to curve far more than it actually curves? This clever animation shows the illusion involved. (Via NewScientist.)

2. Exploring the religious roots and impulses of John Rawls' work.

3. A contrarian's take on the-internet-is-killing-us, from Benjamin Kunkel: "I'm eager to stick up for casual and often vulgar online writing and culture as long as I'm not forced to defend them in grandiose terms."

4. How to turn a guesstimate into an estimate, by crowdsourcing your own brain. [via Mark Frauenfelder]

5. Is Ross Ohlendorf the Greg Maddux of his generation?

what is today's style?

Today's style is nerd chic.

Slender jeans, V-neck sweaters, collared shirts, sexy-but-smart (or smart-but-sexy) spectacles, electronic accessories of all stripes, dress-casual shoes. (A DNA tattoo? That's just taking it too far.)

It feels good to be a nerd.






[162nd in a series]

the Maddux of the hardwood

A little hagiography never hurts. Michael Lewis, author of Moneyball, explains why the Rockets' Shane Battier is perhaps the smartest, if not the best, basketballer in the NBA.

People often say that Kobe Bryant has no weaknesses to his game, but that’s not really true. Before the game, Battier was given his special package of information. “He’s the only player we give it to,” [Rockets GM Daryl] Morey says. “We can give him this fire hose of data and let him sift. Most players are like golfers. You don’t want them swinging while they’re thinking.” The data essentially broke down the floor into many discrete zones and calculated the odds of Bryant making shots from different places on the court, under different degrees of defensive pressure, in different relationships to other players — how well he scored off screens, off pick-and-rolls, off catch-and-shoots and so on. Battier learns a lot from studying the data on the superstars he is usually assigned to guard. For instance, the numbers show him that Allen Iverson is one of the most efficient scorers in the N.B.A. when he goes to his right; when he goes to his left he kills his team. The Golden State Warriors forward Stephen Jackson is an even stranger case. “Steve Jackson,” Battier says, “is statistically better going to his right, but he loves to go to his left — and goes to his left almost twice as often.”

Read the whole thing.

[via ALDaily]

labor of nerdly love

My wife and I are nerds, who, almost superfluously, enjoy playing Scrabble. Case in point: the Anderson re-wedding of ought-five had a Scrabble(licious) theme, including a Scrabble cake.

But this takes it.

[via BoingBoing's Cory Doctorow]

another Maddux appreciation

More love for the soon-to-retire Greg Maddux, from Gene Wojciechowski of ESPN.

In 1996, just before Maddux and the Atlanta Braves faced the New York Yankees in the World Series, pitching coach Leo Mazzone met with his starters and relievers and read them the detailed scouting reports. Maddux raised his hand after Mazzone read the report on Yankees slugger Bernie Williams.

"That report is not correct," Maddux said. "I've been watching film of Williams for two weeks, and that report is not correct."

"Did everybody hear that?" Mazzone said.

The Braves pitchers nodded.

"Well, then the hell with this report," Mazzone said. "We go with what Mad Dog says."

Williams hit .167 in the Series.

Read the whole thing.

Greg Maddux to retire

Greg Maddux is leaving baseball.

The four-time Cy Young winner will announce his retirement Monday at the baseball winter meetings, near his home in Las Vegas. Maddux, who turns 43 in April, ranks eighth on the career wins list with 355. He went 8-13 with a 4.22 ERA last season with the San Diego Padres and Los Angeles Dodgers.

Maddux made three relief appearances in the playoffs for the Dodgers this year - he had an 0.00 ERA over four innings - and then filed for free agency amid speculation he would retire.

On Friday, confirmation came from the office of Maddux's agent, Scott Boras. Maddux, his family and Boras will hold a news conference at the hotel where the meetings are being held to announce one of baseball's greatest pitchers is finished.

A man of integrity, class, and unparalleled studiousness, Maddux will retire with a 355-227 record over 23 seasons, a remarkable run for a control pitcher with a lean physique and a mediocre fastball.

His intense focus, determination, and dedication to his craft--matched only, perhaps, by the dedication of his greatest nemesis, Tony Gwynn--will one day take him to the Hall.

If Greg Maddux taught us anything, it's that nerds can be jocks, too.

Moyer on the mound tonight

This blog has declared its abiding love for Greg Maddux on many an occasion. Today, we salute Jamie Moyer, who not only pitches with eagle-like intensity and crafty intelligence, but is a humble guy to boot.

How can you not fall head over cleats for a guy who, after more than 20 seasons in the majors, still sits on the dugout bench and contemplates the simple beauty of a baseball game? Yeah, it's corny. That's what makes it so great. He doesn't care that it's corny.

"When I was 8 years old, I started playing baseball," Moyer says. "And I'm 45 and I'm still playing, at a different level, but it's still the same game. That you can never take away. That is never going to leave, this part of the game.

"Six outs to a full inning. In a major league game, you're going to play 8½ or 9 innings. That is never going to change. The money changes. People change. But the game itself is never going to change. … The people who designed this thing are brilliant."

I wish I could watch you pitch tonight, Mr. Moyer. Here's hoping you can turn it around this postseason. It'd be nice to know that at least one regional sports hero is enjoying success in something.

Update: Moyer's strong effort was almost derailed by a shaky bullpen outing, but the Phillies hung on to win and have a 2-1 series lead.

he lost on Jeopardy!, baby

I, like the Comics Curmudgeon, have often been told I "Should go on Jeopardy." After reading his detailed account of the experience, my emotions in response to that suggestion are as mixed as ever.

Anyway, read it. Maybe it'll inspire you to new directions in your trivial purs--endeavors.

Jason Kuznicki's blog class, "Collectivism and Science Fiction"

I now have my summer reading mapped out. Jason Kuznicki has started a fantastic project:

Below is a mostly complete syllabus for “Collectivism and Science Fiction,” a blog-class that I plan on teaching over the next few months. I’ve added several works based both on your suggestions and on the need to give a more thorough introduction to collectivist social thought. I couldn’t include everything, and already the reading list is pushing the limits of a semester-length class.

If you want to follow the entire class closely, you may buy nearly all of the copyrighted works at the links provided. The public domain works available online have been linked directly.

I plan to tackle one work a week from the following list. Each will get an extended blog-essay treatment, and the various essays will build upon one another. Expect unplanned supplementals along the way, if I run into other things that might be worth discussing. Each post will be tagged with “Collectivism and Science Fiction” for reference. Please feel free to post comments, either beneath my posts or at your own blogs, and don’t be afraid to take the conversation wherever you like.

Check out the syllabus at the link.

I like the fact that it's thematic. It can be illuminating to discover connections that are sometimes missed in a chronological format. Also, I'm totally stoked to read We again.

Maddux vincit omnia ad infinitum

A little under 3 years ago, I celebrated Greg Maddux's 300th hall-of-fame-assuring win. Remarkably, he's still pitching, and still winning. He got #350 last night against the Rockies.

"Trev gave me the ball. That was cool," said Maddux, the only active pitcher with 350 wins and the first to reach the mark since Roger Clemens did it last July 22, against Minnesota. "I'll take any free ball I can get. I'll give it to my kid. Let him go play with it somewhere."

Nerd on, Greg Maddux. Nerd on.

Greg Maddux: man, magician, messiah

Tim Keown's addition to Greg Maddux's burgeoning hagiography is a great way to wrap up your week of baseball stat-harping, if such is your passion. No pitcher is--ever was?--smarter, humbler, goofier.

The first pitch glanced off the top of Risinger's mitt and hit him in the mask.

"That's enough," Maddux said, walking off the mound.

"One more," Risinger said.

The second pitch hit Risinger square in the pocket, but something went awry. Either Akerfelds' "Now!" was too late or Risinger's mitt squeeze was too slow. The ball dropped at his feet.

"That's enough," Maddux said.

"One more," Risinger said. "Please?"

Maddux wound up and threw. By now, pitching coach Darren Balsley was watching, along with a few other Padres who had received word that a strange experiment was taking place involving a catcher attempting to catch without the benefit of vision. The ball left Maddux's hand, and Akerfelds yelled "Now!" and Risinger clenched his mitt around the ball.

He opened his eyes. There it was, in the mitt.

Arms were raised in celebration. It was a beautifully stupid scene. Risinger laughed so hard he fell down. Akerfelds was doubled over, laughing to the point of tears. Maddux looked on with a wry smile, shaking his head.

More, much more, in the entirety. Read it all, and marvel at the man named Maddux.

nerd mashups to the extreme

From Russian woodcuts of sci-fi classics, to the Manga Bible. (Approved by Rowan Williams!) What's next? ASCII-animated Star Wars?

(Just kidding. It's already been done.)




Added: Today's tacky tie.

top ten nerdy neologisms

Arranged from most to least common, according to Google.

1. nerdism
2. nerdly
3. nerdity
4. nerddom
5. nerditude
6. nerdification
7. nerderie
8. nerdation
9. nerdousness
10. nerdivorous

(Number 10, according to same, is my own creation.)