This is the seventh in an annual tradition, and because I am lazy, bereft of ideas, and still moping about with a shoulder injury, there are going to be seven lists of seven. Besides, seven is a lucky number, and we could all use a little more luck in 2011.
Happy New Year, almost.
[Previous entries from 2004, 2005, 2006, 2007, 2008, and 2009 are also available.]
Top Seven Top Seven Lists
7. Top 7 "nontroversies" of 2010
For the record, I did not invent the word "nontroversy."
6. Top 7 recycled fashions
Where else are you going to find a Speedo frock?
5. Top 7 space stories
Arsenic and ol' space.
4. Top 7 Russian words of the year
Блогосфера is the best, obviously.
3. Top 7 parenting controversies
Sometimes--actually, lots of times--I'm glad I don't have kids.
2. Top 7 Justin Bieber-themed Etsy creations
Two things you couldn't escape in 2010: Etsy and Justin Bieber.
1. Top 7 Coen brothers films
Coen brothers? Yay! No Raising Arizona? Boo!
Top Seven Movies
As of today, I hadn't seen Dogtooth, Toy Story 3, Four Lions, Scott Pilgrim vs. the World, or The Social Network, so don't gripe that they're not on this list.
7. Exit Through the Gift Shop
6. A Prophet
5. Winter's Bone
4. The Fighter
2. True Grit
Top Seven Middle Names
4. Peter George St. Jean le Baptiste de la Salle
3. , Alias
Top Seven Predictions for 2011
7. Sarah Palin involved in Facebook dust-up
6. Coffee approaches $150 per barrel
5. Boise State Broncos go 25-0; still uninvited to BCS championship
4. America experiences cultural renaissance thanks to revived MySpace
3. Julian Assange returns to home planet
2. Seattle sports scene sucks, except Sounders
1. Apocalypse arrives a year ahead of schedule; Mayan scientists claim "well within the margin of error."
Top Seven Things We Could Probably Live Without
7. Throw pillows
5. Aluminum siding
3. Smart phones
2. A functional acromioclavicular joint
1. Tron Guy
Top Seven Excuses
7. I thought it was a documentary!
6. You can't make an omelette without killing a few chickens!
5. Everything's better with Jell-O!
4. Twitter said to!
3. It was in the Urban Dictionary!
2. But I just don't believe in expiration dates!
1. Court order! Sorry!
Top Seven Tweets
As determined by science.
7. No, I will not proofread your manifesto.
6. Revenge is a dish best served cold, and with a citrus garnish.
5. "Does the staff room smell like fetal pig to you, Mr. Anderson?"
4. Next time your parents tell you it "builds character," tell them you're hiring a subcontractor.
3. "It starts with pattycake, and ends in heartbreak."
2. It's not plagiarized. It's just edited to include 30% post-consumer recycled content.
1. Purple plaid is the color of self-esteem.