Dear Folks at The Threepenny Review,
Please take a moment to review my blog, decorabilia, and sample the excellent range of writing I offer here.
Then, if you'd like to subscribe, you can take advantage of my special offer to new readers: twelve months for free, the usual cost of six!
This is an unbeatable price to pay for an internationally respected daily like mine, and I guarantee you'll love the witty, wide-ranging, cosmopolitan writing that decorabilia will bring you nearly every single day.
But don't take my word for it -- check out the website first. If you like what you see, you can offer me a chance to publish my grade-A material in your quarterly, thus launching me on a voyage to literary fame, and, maybe someday, blurb-worthiness.
Or, if you prefer more oldfashioned methods, I'll send you some unpublished manuscripts which you can accept with bioluminescent praise. Either way, I'll provide you my pecks of prose absolutely free.
All best,
Jim Anderson
P.S. How did you know I'm cosmopolitan? Is it my Harper's subscription?
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