1. Netflix
To wax derivative, "the original and best," perfect for the misanthrope who despises the long drive, the longer lines, the losers inhabiting video stores everywhere. Along with #2, it is the reason the Postal Service still exists. (If you don't believe me, ask an employee how they feel about those little red envelopes.) I am a true believer in Netflix; I offer praise without hope of remuneration or reward. My zealous advocacy has convinced at least one fellow English teacher to join.
2. Half.com
Half.com is a win-win-lose situation. You sell your never-gonna-read-that-again Psych 101 textbook to a student in Shreveport, who pays far less than the used price at the bookstore, and you make more than you would selling it back to yours. The only loser: the bookstore flunky who'll have to scrub toilets when his job is flushed. Capitalism sucks, but not for you.
3. Rotten Tomatoes
Let's face it: you are here because you are a sheep, or aspire to be a leader of sheep. You encourage others to share their opinions about every subject known to humanity, from hamster euthanization to Sue Bird's bare feet. Naturally, then, you want to know what movies are worth your precious pennies, so this fantastic collection of bite-sized reviews is your weekly stop-and-read. Oooh... only a fifteen percent rating... better wait 'til it's out on Netflix...
4. Fisking
When done well, it is a supreme act of love--"I care about you enough to deride you publicly by juxtaposing your silly words with my trenchant observations." Someone, somewhere, is salivating over the prospect of fisking this very list.
5. Blog memes
Chain letters without the nasty threats. The states meme. The book meme. The random questions meme. What about the meme meme?
6. Google
Sure, there's Google Scholar, and Google Images, and Froogle, and elgooG, and sure, Google knows all, sees all, archives all, but they're best for one use: authenticating originality, yours or others'.
7. The Onion, The Smoking Gun, Obscure Store
Which is more heartening: fake news, or news so impossible it can't be fake?
8. Online personals
No shame here; I am happily married to a woman who wasn't going to pay Yahoo $19.95 for a month's use until she saw my profile. Amor vincit omnia.
2 comments:
Hey, congratulations re. the Yahoo personals thing. I met my beloved Erin through Yahoo personals, too. One thing we all should work on is breaking down the embarrassment about internet personals ads. I fear there are many lonely people out there who are just too embarrassed or shy to take advantage of such things, and who could be very happy, if only they would try.
Thanks, and same to you. I don't know if there's any systematic way to reduce anxiety about online dating, but happy nerd stories like these will hopefully make a dent in the uber-shy (or uber-picky?) singles crowd.
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