changes in Student Congress, Public Forum debate rules

Bill Nicolay, director of forensics at Snohomish High School, sends along word of NFL rule changes to Student Congress and Public Forum debate. The highlights, which I've edited only for formatting:

Public Forum

• Final focus goes from one to two minutes
• Ballots will be redesigned
• No reading of evidence in Crossfire (this seems to mean that competitors should be discouraged from asking for cites during crossfire)

Congress

• Will now be called “Congressional Debate” rather than Student Congress
• Preferential ranking by judges becomes the preferred method of advancing students to either a super congress (if used) or straight to nationals (if no super congress).  However, ranking by judges could be used to produce a slate of candidates for student vote [via preferential ballot], should a district choose to do so.  Base and board vote are gone.
• Standardized ballots for congress ranking will be provided to all districts
• Both the authorship/sponsorship and first negation speeches will be followed by two-minute questioning periods.  I’m assuming all other speeches remain at one minute (not addressed).
• Committee meetings may not be scored
• This may be a big one, depending on current district procedure: A total of two three-hour sessions of debate is required to legitimize the congress, so congress moves from five to six hours (plus time for setting up), meaning that it may no longer be doable in a single day along with speech, since it all events have to end by 10:00 p.m.  There is language which says that “if a district offers a super session, it has the flexibility to have additional smaller preliminary chambers before advancing students to the super session.  I believe the key term here, “smaller,” refers to chamber size and not time, because...
• Congress sessions are limited to 18-20 students, and for each student beyond 20 we have to add ten minutes to the session.
• Presiding officers may be selected or an adult may serve.  No provision or language was given regarding scores received by presiding officers.
• All nationals legislation will now be vetted by Nationals Office Staff and may be approved, rejected, or improved and resubmitted.  Each district can submit two items of legislation.
• Affiliate chapters can now enter as many entries as charter chapters (based on the manual table).

I like the added minute in PuFo--that "final focus" has always been a waste of fevered breath. In Congressional Debate, I have mixed feelings about extending question time for the first speech in negation, if only because question time tends to turn into Thinly Disguised Speeches.

Mr. Nicolay also noted that a committee is exploring the use of laptops in LD (I'm not yet convinced) and in extemp (which needs to happen yesterday--otherwise, how many forests of magazine trees must die?).

student congress never looked so good

If you ever thought, You know, someday I might like to run for city council, think again. The jalopy of democracy can't run without the squeaky, clattering wheel of public comment.

Personal favorite: the guy who crams eighteen items into his allotted time.

[via BoingBoing]

I learned it in Student Congress: part V

On average, five hours of scoring and acting as parliamentarian of Student Congress translates into at least three weeks of education. What, though, are the lessons?

time passes faster than you think
"Go back to World War I. When that ended, the Depression hit."

make up any word you want
"...when scouted by college scouters..."
"...ethnical backgrounds..."
"We can't afford populizing Mars."

algae-farming is a "more better alternative"
"It's probably healthier than harvesting oil."

there's no accounting for taste
"We don't eat algae--at least, I don't."

petroleum gets tired, too
"All the oil is exhaling..."

coal plants don't, in fact, exist
"The electricity, you're just gathering it from the power grid. You don't have to burn anything."

we have heretofore unknown cosmic allies
"If we could join with two or three space countries..."

people can be offended by surprising things
"To 'terraform'--if you don't mind me using that word..."

sometimes the obvious is not so obvious
"Micro-organisms are not quite on the same level as humans."

hope lies around the corner
"Because our world is already crap, we have to find some way to evolve from that."

and finally, believe in what you believe
"I am a believer in firm affirmation of this bill."

more CHS StuCo success

Last night, Jesse Noviello made Capital proud by earning First Alternate in the Senate at our district NFL qualifier. For those keeping track, that means CHS has one team definitely going to nationals in Birmingham, and two alternates. (I'm secretly hoping for two more snow days--like today--because if that happens, I won't have to miss any finals.)

And yes, this means I'll be sharing the collective wisdom of the Congress in my next post.

more Student Congress wisdom

On the joy of hegemony
"We are the big brother of the world."

On I don't know exactly what
"This bill forgoes the individual clockwork of any given state."

On dubious historical origins
"Because marriage comes from the Bible...."

On staying in metaphysical shape
"People can practice their beliefs and/or race."

On the variety of human languages
"They might speak Spanish, or Chinese, or... Chinese."

On the surprising benefits of illegal immigration
"...better cleansing of the areas in our nation..."

On the Great American Thought Fondue
"In our melting pot, we get so many ideas by allowing them."

On rights you didn't know you had
"Religion of the press, religion of assembly..."

On libertarianism, sort of
"This is a time when we need to stand up for ourselves and attack the agencies that are being lazy."

On clarification
"We're talking about internal safety, and by internal safety, I mean eating."

"If I were voting--which I will be..."

On neologism
"excrecate"
"neglection"

On honesty
"I have no facts."

the world needs parliamentary procedure

Although Student Congress sometimes draws my (mostly loving) barbs of criticism, at least its practitioners become well-versed in parliamentary procedure, even if their faulty reasoning leaves the event unscathed.

Maybe that only increases their frustration in the "real world," though. It does for me: whenever I sit through a meeting of any type, listening to people rambling on without a timer, or dominating a discussion, or foundering on the shoals of uncertainty over what to do or say next, I think, if only they knew how to conduct a meeting according to Robert's Rules of Order, with a dash of NFL rules thrown in to keep the times short, the passions muted, and the discussion moving.

If only!

I learned it in Student Congress: part IV

This past Student Congress session, one of the less offensive in recent memory, still brought a few moments of drollery, embarrassment, and pain.

yet another synonym for raising exists
"Rising."

the American criminal justice system is harsher than you imagine
"If I jaywalked, I'd probably go to the Monroe prison."

they have chilly winters in Minnesota
"It drops below--I don't know. It gets really cold there."

found on a future penal colony
"We'd have a smörgåsbord of 8-year-old candy stealers and 21-year-old rapists."

it's difficult to escape from Alcatraz
"It's hundreds of miles out..."

it's only understatement if it's delivered with irony
"I think that's slightly appalling."

fuzzy math is alive and well
"Multiply 50x12, and you get approximately 600."

cigarettes provide a surprising social benefit
"Smoking makes people feel good. Because they feel good, they won't kill themselves."


[tacky tie found here.]

weekend recap with Tom Cruise

Tom Cruise is shilled for, and shills for, Scientology and "LRH technology." Weirdness galore in these bizarre and highly addictive videos. [via Slate]


McClane! McBain! McCain!


Endured and enjoyed the Federal Way tournament. Worst / best quote I heard, regarding political assassination's chaotic aftermath: "That would be killing the head, and leaving the wriggling body to figure it out." Synonyms for "raising": upping, highering, and highering up.


One more teacher learns the hard way that camera phones are your worst pedagogical nightmare.

A Boulder teen has been arrested for using his cellphone camera to snag a teacher's computer password and change math scores for himself and 48 other students.

"He said he was changing grades just enough to ensure that if a student didn't do well on the final, their grades wouldn't be impacted," Boulder police spokeswoman Sarah Huntley said today.

The 16-year-old Fairview High School student, who wasn't identified because he is a juvenile, was arrested Wednesday and faces a felony charge for tampering with the grades.

Better and worse news: most younguns aren't as techno-savvy as you might think. You stereotyper.

[First link via Obscure Store]


Listen to Sean Paul, have a seizure. But science has the cure. (Not sure if there's a similar procedure possible for "Exploding Head syndrome.")

MTV has fallen farther than you can possibly imagine

The T/R/P describes:

They are profiling a kid from a rival school for their show Made. Apparently, a ditzy cheerleader wants to be taken intellectually seriously, so they're re-making her by having her join the debate team.

That's all well and good...more power to her. But I'm a little bummed out with a lot of the process and with MTV in general.

First off, the concept of the show is that they bring in a coach--somebody good-looking and ever so painfully-hip--to help the kid. So instead of the school's excellent coach, they've brought in some dude in his mid-twenties. I overheard him describing Public Forum postings to the camera operator, and describing them incorrectly. This kid can make herself simply by walking into the actual coach's office after school. But that won't do, of course...he's in his fifties and doesn't have slick, spiky hair. Instead, MTV has brought in a less-qualified, more-hip outsider.

Second, as my wife points out, the fact that a kid who wants to be taken intellectually seriously decides the way to do that is to call MTV...well, that's a pretty comical premise to begin with.

Third, MTV and/or Hip Spiky-Haired Coach have decided that, for yesterday's meet anyway, that the kid should compete in Student Congress and Interpretive Reading.

Seriously? Congress?

Like the T/R/P, I starred as a parliamentary officer this weekend--off-camera, thankfully, considering I had to intervene after The Worst Speech in the History of Speeches, which linked "Don't Ask Don't Tell" to... I can't even say it. It wasn't just offensive, it was stupid offensive--both illogical and factually wrong. Yet our love-me-love-me Presiding Officer had to be prodded to take a stand for professionalism.

Blech.

Anyhow, some highlights:

Describing what it's like to stand beside a heavyset woman in a tube top, ordering a combo meal at Burger King
"If I had to see that, I would feel perverted."


The future presidential candidate exchange
Speaker: "I spoke with several servicemen in my hometown. They said that knowing a member of their unit was gay would wreck morale."
Questioner: "Why is that? How does that work?"
Speaker: "I won't presume to know. I don't inquire into the minds of other people."


The malapropisms
"I am in strong negation of this bill."

"This bill is benefiting crimedoers."

"This would lead to a pattern of felon-type behavior."

"Their skills would be reduced, physically and coordinationly."


Things that are a "step in the right direction"

• Repealing "Don't Ask, Don't Tell"
• Providing healthier school lunches
• Using gene doping to create a race of super-soldiers

Added: As always, The Onion has the last word.

"I motion to move to call the previous questions."

At the Gig Harbor debate tournament, I split my time between co-running Junior LD tab and prepping novices for their first-ever rounds, so I didn't have the joy of judging much of anything--just one horrific Open Impromptu round, one high-quality Novice LD round, and, sadly, no Student Congress.

Luckily, Josh judged the latter, and has the quotes to prove it.

marathon Student Congress; rules changes in works

Why blogging has been light recently: the state Debate and Student Congress tournament at UPS, where four CHS students competed over two days. Yesterday's Congress session started at 9:00, went 'til 11:00, broke for lunch, resumed at 1:00 for the Super Session with all the top speakers, and did not get out until 7:00.

It was the first time that I can remember Congress taking longer than Debate, which finished before 5:00.

No more.

After two days of debate, politicking, rising for points of personal privilege, and sitting in uncomfortable chairs, a six-hour final session is not only tedious, but torturous, and disrespectful to those who have lives outside of forensics, who have made plans dependent on Congress ending at a reasonable hour.

Thus, for next year, I'm proposing several changes.

First, limiting preliminary rounds to the first day, as is done in Debate.

Second, establishing an efficient, clear, and consistent way to elect presiding officers. The process took 45 minutes in the Super Session. My method: write all the candidates' names on the board. Vote by paper ballot, and eliminate the bottom half (rounding up if the number is odd, say, 4 out of 7), and voting again for those who remain, removing the bottom half again until a clear winner is chosen. In case of tie, the parliamentarian decides.

Third, limiting each P.O. to an hour of work, and making the parliamentarian the P.O. in any deliberation time exceeding two hours. This way the debate could last three hours instead of four--no need to worry about scoring 1.5-hour P.O.-ing.

If you have any suggestions from experience, or better ideas than mine, please comment. I'll be taking these recommendations to the spring coaches' meeting. Congress has improved mightily over the past several years, but it still needs fixing.

I learned it in Student Congress: part III

Yesterday's round was largely smooth and ineffectual--as all Congress should be--at least until the last fifteen minutes when everything turned stupid. (This is a function of time, hunger, a stuffy room, impatience, and the 2nd law of thermodynamics.)

Along the way, though, several "aha moments" arose, and I was truly enlightened.

Pravda means truth, or something about the United States I did not know
"When we left Afghanistan at the end of the cold war, we left it in chaos."

not all states are created equal
"Who likes Tennessee? Country singers?"

be sure to cover all the bases
"As many of you might or might not know..."

a picturesque metaphor is worth a thousand words
"That would be 1000 pounds... a couple of you big guys."

neologism is the spice of life
"Sexism is a form of discriminization."

"...gives it a higher awesomeness above nuclear power."

"It would take more energy than the giveoff it would make for energy."

I have a thicker skin than I thought
"Isn't it offensive to our hardworking teachers to call school a 'daycare?'"
--"It may be, but that doesn't change the fact."

I thought it was the prom
"Drinking is a fundamental part of being a teenager... Should we take away something that is a part of so many kids' lives?"

I learned it in Student Congress: part II

regarding dangerous coworkers
"...because of attacks by the secretary insurgents..."

regarding strategies to avoid drunk drivers
"You could get off the road and not die."

regarding onomatopoeia
"Shoulda woulda coulda. Sound like a little train to you?"

regarding irony
[after describing how to make napalm to a room full of high school students]
"Do you want that kind of information available to high schoolers? I think not."

regarding analogy
"It'd be Columbine times a billion. No, not a billion, unless this is China."

regarding epistemology
[responding to a question about whether medical marijuana works]
"I know my mom says it does."

regarding eminent domain
"Knock knock knock, hey, we want your property. Get off."

regarding moral quandaries
"What is the crackhead going to do when he can't get his usual 60 sack?"

regarding neologism
"I'm going to get a whole oodleload of money offa this."

regarding personal questions
"If this bill were enacted, would you buy drugs?"

regarding one's role as a CIA operative
"I'm not at liberty to say if this is true."

all in favor

If you catch only three gems in one session, it must have been a good session.

interesting changes to NFL Student Congress

Got these via email from our NFL district chair. Changes in bold; comments normal typeface. (I noted a few changes before; these are all new to me.)

Scoring changes:
A) Eight (8) points per speech not Six (6)
B) Forty (40) points per day not twenty-four (24) can be awarded
C) Presiding Officer can receive eight (8) points per hour up to 40 for the day

I wonder how this will square with recordkeeping. Sorry, former Reps and Senators. Point inflation means asterisks all around.

No more than 30 students in a chamber.

Hasn't been a problem in our region, generally.

No changes in location of a student from the registration are allowed. Alternates may replace someone in a chamber, but students CANNOT move from one chamber to another.

Good. I can't stand it when competitors try to angle their way into the "easy" house.

Standard Speech – 3 minutes with a 1 minute CX period

I didn't emphasize this last time: now there's a mandatory questioning period after every speech. I don't know what to say, other than, "Crap." I hate question time.

Authorship speeches can ONLY be given on legislation from that school submitting. If no one from the school is in the chamber, no authorship speech can be given.

Huzzah!

Nomination for finalists:
A) The maximum number to be nominated is seven (7).
B) Judges' nomination will be used. If the nominees number fewer than seven, the top scoring individuals may be added to make seven.

Why "may?" Who decides? The tournament director? The parliamentarian?

Voting can be by preferential ranking with the parliamentarian having a tie breaking vote.

Hopefully this speeds up the laborious voting process, which used to work by elimination in round after round after round.

I learned it in Student Congress

Compelling new rhetorical flights of fancy:

"Our country's basic beliefs are based on religion."

"They have isolated themselves, instead of doing the other."

"Anyone at all that wants to affirmate the bill?"

"We do not have a sufficient number of troops to entertain the services of our country."

Daring revisions of history:

Apparently, we fought the Second World War absent a draft.

The New York police could never quite catch up with Al Capone. (Probably because he lived in Chicago.)

If weda had separation of church and state, Thomas Becket woulda never got kilt.


A lesson for us all:

"Domestic tranquility shouldn't be disturbed, 'cause it means 'peace.'"




[See also here and here and here.]

National Forensic League rule changes for 2006-2007

Normally my eyes gloss over when I'm sent an NFL packet, but this year's rule changes might make a measurable difference in the quality of specific events. Let's run down the list.


Lincoln Douglas Debate
1. The Council has approved new LD debate event and judging descriptions, ostensibly to clear up contentious issues about the nature of the event. The biggest, and likely most grating, change: no kritiks. At least, that's how I read this passage:

The debaters are equally obligated to focus the debate on the central uestions of the resolution, not whether the resolution is worthy of debate. Because the affirmative must uphold the resolution, the negative must also argue the resolution as presented.

Obviously, this rule change affects only those tournaments that operate under NFL rules--but that's a conservative shift for LD, a bold move to keep it from becoming quasi-policy.

2. For LD and Policy, the NFL wants to make judging paradigm forms available online. If anything, this might make the inanest of questions--"What's your paradigm?"--superfluous.

Student Congress
1. It's still going to be called "Student Congress."

2. No plagiarized legislation. Sorry, lame-os.

3. In a district qualifier, if you don't make at least one speech, you don't vote in the final election (and no points for you). Finally, a way to get the log bumps involved.

4. Cross-examination--one minute of questioning after a three-minute speech--will be a factor in scoring.


Policy Debate
In a 5-3-1 vote, the Council decided to allow a one-year trial where laptop computers may be used within Policy Debate rounds, with District competitions to have the option. There are provisions forbidding the use of wireless networks, but really--are judges going to have to check in between every speech to make sure no one's cheating? I hope and pray computers never become a fixture in Lincoln-Douglas.


Individual Events
1. I wasn't aware that some competitors have been changing the gender of characters in interpretive events, but apparently they have, and it's now verboten. "In all interpretation events, the gender stated by the author must be honored. However, a female may play a male role and a male may play a female role," preserving Shakespearian tradition.

2. All interpretation events have a "grace period" rule.

from the mouths of dweebs: our second annual installment

More Student Congress, more crazy quotes.



On the merits of lethal injection versus a firing squad: "What if I told you I could get you a nice, peaceful, relaxed death?"

On capital punishment via diplomacy: "...until your life is ended by the state department."

On the conservation of our most precious natural resource: "...considering that oil--and petroleum, for that matter--oil and petroleum are fast disappearing."

On important dates: "...when George Washington left office in... eighteenwhatever..."

On bombast: "...as we take our rightful place as the moral leader of the enlightened world."

On blaming the adolescent victim: "If she's in an abusive family, then obviously she shouldn't be in that family in the first place."

On crypto-fascist education: "We must preserve the purity of intelligence..."

On malapropism: "A woman will arrive at the hospital bleeding from the universe..."

On the utility of coats: "It keeps me warm, and keeps me from getting a disease."



(Read the original edition here.)

from the mouths of dweebs

If I didn't spend most of my social life shepherding students to debate tournaments, I'd probably... well... blog more. (I've never had much of a social life; when I was in high school, I was the one being shepherded.) This past and present weekends have been spent at the University of Puget Sound, surrounded by adolescent nerd angst and nerd angst denial--teenage debaters, and their slightly older college peers.

Today, for about two hours, I watched Student Congress, and there were enough moments of stultifying ignorance to fill an Uncle John's Bathroom Reader. A few favorites:

• The kid who said that we ought to outlaw gay adoptions because "those children who are diagnosed with homophobia won't be able to handle not knowing which is the mommy and which is the daddy."
• "And in the Kashmiri town of Maflablalala Flaballa... whatever..."
• The argument that teenagers shouldn't vote because they're not eligible for the draft. Just like women... hey... maybe they shouldn't vote either...

More tomorrow, I'm sure.

Update: Perhaps because I was parliamentarian and didn't have to actually listen to speeches, Saturday didn't contain nearly as much idiocy. Except for one gem: "If we put an embargo on India, we'll inevitably have another World War II... um... I guess that would be World War III."