Another day of StuCo, another day of genius disguised as inanity.
On sensitivity: "Ladies and gentlemen, we've all seen them. They are the mentally retarded."
On the Washington Assessment of Student Learning, the high-stakes exam: "He tried to copy off me, but I foiled him!"
On the value of Microsoft: "How would our world be without computers? Without word processing?"
On trust: "It must be reliable. It comes from Popular Science."
On temptation: "When you're in prison you can't see breasts."
On jury duty: "This is a system that has been in place for as long as... for I don't know how long. A long time."
On prejudice: "...so that these convicted criminals can have a fair trial..."
On literacy, political style: [holding up a pocket-sized Constitution] "It is clearly written in the Constitution that each state must create an ethical code for its citizens."
On extreme skepticism: "Let me assure you, there is no proof of secondhand smoke."
On dubious distinctions: "What is the first thing you think of when you think of nuclear power? You think of the atom bomb, which has nothing to do with nuclear."
On neologism: "Or, in the context of nuclear power, plemeian in a way..."
On dipping one's toes in the gene pool: "And I don't want my descendants--whatever they may look like--to deal with it."
On malapropism, part II: "If nuclear pants can last 3,000 years..."
On... on... I'm not really sure: "Nuclear power... is morally wrong. It's sticking a cat in a microwave. [pause] That's not an analogy. I know people who are that sick. Just sick. [awkward pause] I never said they were my friends."
Part I of the second annual installment
the first annual installment
1 comment:
Shh ... you will wake the children. They have been playing so nice lately. You remember the good old days of protesting anything that we could. They haven't even noticed the 10 nuclear power station that our government is planning. The have been so distracted by our current show the war for oil. Hmmm well just let them play ok?
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