After school. The phone rings. I answer it, trepidatious.
"Hi, this is [redacted] from Wal-Mart, hoping to talk with you about [redacted]."
Excellent. I am a reference for a former student seeking gainful employment. Shall I expound, at great length, as to [redacted]'s character and accomplishments, fortitude and charisma? Shall I relate a piquant anecdote, recount [redacted]'s classroom odyssey of learning? Possibilities! Ask, dear Wal-Mart, and I shall--
"Do you have any reason to believe that [redacted] poses a violent threat to any other person?"
"Do you have any reason to believe that [redacted] lacks integrity or honesty?"
"One last thing. Is there any reason you would not recommend [redacted] for a position at Wal-Mart?"
"That's all. Have a nice day."