Apr 6, 2009

liveblogging the NCAA championship

8:09 p.m., April 6th, 2009
We're live from Pete's Pub at the bottom of the Intercontinental Hotel--Hotel Intercontinental?--Continent Interhotel?--surrounded by blue smoke and bluer language. (Comparative zeugma, free of charge.) Rumor is there's a basketball game afoot.

Since much of the game's banter is going to be drowned out by the rowdy gents behind us, I'll get to imagine what the announcers are saying. Right now, a pretty good approximation: "Everyone knows MSU has no chance in hell. Still, Tom Izzo gives a heck of pregame speech. Detroit is a ghost town. Tyler Hansbrough plays like a berserker raiding a neighboring village."

Let it be said that the hot wings at Pete's Pub are simply excellent. If I stop liveblogging for awhile, it's because I ran out of finger napkins.

And they're off. At least 50% of the blowhards, I mean. And the game has started, too.

Suton nails a three, and UNC answers. America prays that the game is competitive for at least one half.

The problem with trying to beat North Carolina is that you have to play a nearly perfect game against them. They're going to build a big lead and then weather your runs.

Ad: Rally caps positioned, GM is reinventing their company. (Starting with their government-mandated new CEO.)

A carrying call? Don't see that every day. This fifteen-point deficit might as well be Mount Olympus, and Roy Williams is Zeus, hurling thunderbolts... I tire of metaphor.

The wife has taken to calling Tyler Hansbrough "Captain Drama Queen."

The bartender observes, "Any time you get down by more than 22, you have to call a timeout." This game is about to get worse than reruns of the World Series of Poker.

John Corbett: from "My Big Fat Greek Wedding," sliding down to "My Big Fat Greasy Entree." Mmm, Applebee's.

Tell someone that all you have on tap is Bud Light, and they're bound to be disappointed.

The largest halftime lead in championship history; the biggest halftime score in championship history. Anyone still think MSU can come back? Put that hand down, Magic.

"I'm Greg Gumbel. Why are you still watching? Put your hand down, Magic."

The only sure-fire way to get the Employee Free Choice Act through Congress: tie it to the Cable A La Carte Free Choice Act.

If you're in Ed Brayton's neighborhood, give him a hug.

I don't say "awesome" either.

It's over. If you can't take advantage of North Carolina's mistakes--and MSU can't--and you can't get within ten, ever, then you're done, and it's over, and over and done, and this liveblog is done. Bobby Knight in his boxers. That is the image the television leaves me with, and I leave you with, and good night.

No comments: