For those awkward moments, a list of twenty questions that will break the frozen silence.
1. What's that on your face?
2. So... how about those [fill in the blank with local sports franchise]?
3. What would life be like if everything was made out of Nerf?*
4. Is it hot in here, or is it just my imagination?
5. Ever notice that each passing second brings you one step closer to death?
6. What's the French word for "hellraiser?"
7. Which Power Ranger is your favorite?
8. If you could be any kind of fern, which would you choose?
9. Read any good diet books lately?
10. Can you balance a spoon on your nose, like this?
11. Do you find me attractive?
12. If you had a clean shot at assassinating just one dictator, living or dead, who would it be?
13. Have you ever dreamed you were a giant chicken?
14. What was the last time you puked, and why?
15. Where do babies come from?
16. If on the run from the law, which country would you flee to?
17. Would you mind if I recited lines from The Iliad, the Fagles translation?
18. What's your favorite Bruce Willis movie?
19. Is a pet rock really a pet?
20. What did you say?
*Special thanks to Dave, my perpetually stoned chemistry lab partner in 12th grade.
[145th in a series]