Spoiler Alert: If you bring children to this film, they will be spoiled like milk.
1. In a not exactly crucial scene that owes its existence (and an apology) to Jerry Lewis in/as The Nutty Professor, Spider-Man plays the piano and dances. Why?
2. When evilifying, Spider-Man gets his hairs chopped like that one guy from My Chemical Romance. Why?
3. Kitty Litter Guy comes with superior clumping action, yet also preserves both original skin tones and clothing. Why?
4. Spider-Man gets beaten to a near-pulp by Kitty Litter Guy, yet neither bruises nor bleeds. Why?
5. Stan Lee has a shameless--as in Shyamalanesque--cameo, blithely noting that one person can make a difference. Why?
6. Reaction shots outnumber action shots. Why?
7. Spider-Man 3 has grossed millions in thousands of theaters in a few short weeks. Why?