1. Born the son of Good Intentions and Bad Procrastination.
2. Worn, briefly, if at all.
3. Retired to the tie rack for at least one decade.
4. Dispatched to Goodwill in a pre-dawn excursion.
5. Shelved a minimum of three months.
6. Discovered by someone with a strong stomach and a stronger sense of irony.
7. Born again.