So, to summarize. Sugar and caffeine in carbonated form: bad. Even more sugar and caffeine in coffee form: shrug. Something is amiss.*
I'd love to complain to the authorities, to point out the blatant inconsistency, but I'm afraid it would only backfire. The district would probably end up banning Starbucks, too, and maybe even shut down the Student Store, which mostly traffics in lattes and sweet, sweet cookies.
So I won't. I'll just keep bringing Pepsi from home. It's cheaper, anyway.
*There's no Caffeine Conspiracy; the inconsistency extends to Hawaiian Punch, too. Why? I have no idea.