actually, we might have started the fire

Freud was wrong about just about everything. One thing he got partly right, though: the death drive, most prevalent in middle school students.

In his "Important Safety Message Parents" posted on the Federal Way School District Web site and mailed to homes last week, Murphy said he was compelled to warn against "a dangerous activity that is increasing in frequency among young people."

" Children are using Axe Body Spray, a popular cologne among young people, to light themselves or their clothing on fire," his letter continued.

"YouTube videos and news reports show the dangerous activity is being practiced across the world. .. Children often don’t have the judgment to understand the dangers in what they view online," he wrote.

This fad is hardly new; I remember some jackass outside Elma's middle school gymnasium using a can of hairspray to reenact critical scenes from The Thing. That was 1990, back when eraser burns were a badge of stupid pride, when Hypercolor T-shirt and Hammer pants and Vanilla Ice warned us of the impending doom of civilization.

It got here all right. It just took longer than some expected.