On the joy of hegemony
"We are the big brother of the world."
On I don't know exactly what
"This bill forgoes the individual clockwork of any given state."
On dubious historical origins
"Because marriage comes from the Bible...."
On staying in metaphysical shape
"People can practice their beliefs and/or race."
On the variety of human languages
"They might speak Spanish, or Chinese, or... Chinese."
On the surprising benefits of illegal immigration
"...better cleansing of the areas in our nation..."
On the Great American Thought Fondue
"In our melting pot, we get so many ideas by allowing them."
On rights you didn't know you had
"Religion of the press, religion of assembly..."
On libertarianism, sort of
"This is a time when we need to stand up for ourselves and attack the agencies that are being lazy."
"We're talking about internal safety, and by internal safety, I mean eating."
"If I were voting--which I will be..."
"I have no facts."