MTV has fallen farther than you can possibly imagine

The T/R/P describes:

They are profiling a kid from a rival school for their show Made. Apparently, a ditzy cheerleader wants to be taken intellectually seriously, so they're re-making her by having her join the debate team.

That's all well and good...more power to her. But I'm a little bummed out with a lot of the process and with MTV in general.

First off, the concept of the show is that they bring in a coach--somebody good-looking and ever so painfully-hip--to help the kid. So instead of the school's excellent coach, they've brought in some dude in his mid-twenties. I overheard him describing Public Forum postings to the camera operator, and describing them incorrectly. This kid can make herself simply by walking into the actual coach's office after school. But that won't do, of course...he's in his fifties and doesn't have slick, spiky hair. Instead, MTV has brought in a less-qualified, more-hip outsider.

Second, as my wife points out, the fact that a kid who wants to be taken intellectually seriously decides the way to do that is to call MTV...well, that's a pretty comical premise to begin with.

Third, MTV and/or Hip Spiky-Haired Coach have decided that, for yesterday's meet anyway, that the kid should compete in Student Congress and Interpretive Reading.

Seriously? Congress?

Like the T/R/P, I starred as a parliamentary officer this weekend--off-camera, thankfully, considering I had to intervene after The Worst Speech in the History of Speeches, which linked "Don't Ask Don't Tell" to... I can't even say it. It wasn't just offensive, it was stupid offensive--both illogical and factually wrong. Yet our love-me-love-me Presiding Officer had to be prodded to take a stand for professionalism.

Blech.

Anyhow, some highlights:

Describing what it's like to stand beside a heavyset woman in a tube top, ordering a combo meal at Burger King
"If I had to see that, I would feel perverted."


The future presidential candidate exchange
Speaker: "I spoke with several servicemen in my hometown. They said that knowing a member of their unit was gay would wreck morale."
Questioner: "Why is that? How does that work?"
Speaker: "I won't presume to know. I don't inquire into the minds of other people."


The malapropisms
"I am in strong negation of this bill."

"This bill is benefiting crimedoers."

"This would lead to a pattern of felon-type behavior."

"Their skills would be reduced, physically and coordinationly."


Things that are a "step in the right direction"

• Repealing "Don't Ask, Don't Tell"
• Providing healthier school lunches
• Using gene doping to create a race of super-soldiers

Added: As always, The Onion has the last word.