Feb 23, 2007

a little more outside the box

British psychics couldn't find Osama bin Laden. No cause for dismay, though:
"I don't think this was a waste of public money. Many people will say so, but I think it is marvellous that the Government is prepared to think outside the box. And this is as outside the box as it gets."
No it isn't.

In accordance with this blog's tradition of envelope-pushing, I offer the following outside-the-box solutions the British government could have considered in tandem.

1. Training capuchin monkeys to recognize bin Laden; wiring them with GPS transmitters and releasing them into the Afghan mountains.

2. Announcing that Osama has won the lotto for over $250 million, and if he would please come to the nearest office to collect remuneration.

3. Holding auditions for "Cabaret," OBL's favorite musical, if the debris discovered in Tora Bora caves gives any indication.

4. Killing Chuck Norris, and then calling upon his disembodied spirit to roam the hills of Afghanistan until OBL is found.

5. Having all adult males in Britain surgically made to look just like OBL, so his forces couldn't figure out who the real leader was, thus quitting in frustration.

I'm sure readers can suggest their own outside-the-box scenarios, thus proving yet another governmental "failure of imagination" in the war on terror.

[link via Kerry Howley]

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