regarding dangerous coworkers
"...because of attacks by the secretary insurgents..."
regarding strategies to avoid drunk drivers
"You could get off the road and not die."
"Shoulda woulda coulda. Sound like a little train to you?"
[after describing how to make napalm to a room full of high school students]
"Do you want that kind of information available to high schoolers? I think not."
"It'd be Columbine times a billion. No, not a billion, unless this is China."
[responding to a question about whether medical marijuana works]
"I know my mom says it does."
regarding eminent domain
"Knock knock knock, hey, we want your property. Get off."
regarding moral quandaries
"What is the crackhead going to do when he can't get his usual 60 sack?"
"I'm going to get a whole oodleload of money offa this."
regarding personal questions
"If this bill were enacted, would you buy drugs?"
regarding one's role as a CIA operative
"I'm not at liberty to say if this is true."