Nov 10, 2006

deliberate deadly prose

Oh, the sins of Lincoln Douglas debate.

I have many to share (after only one night!), but I am tired, and will be up at an ungodly hour on the morrow. Later, friends. Later.

Update: Back after a brief hiatus, which is Latin for "exercise in sleep deprivation, see also 'debate tournament,'" I have a few things to share with future Lincoln Douglas debaters.

Six Commandments of Lincoln Douglas Debate

1. While arguing about domestic violence, thou shalt not refer to the "abusee."

2. Thou shalt not say "enlighten me" to your opponent in cross-examination.

3. Thou shalt not argue that the victims of chronic battery are "mentally weak."

4. Thou shalt not refer to Hitler or the Holocaust, ever.

5. Thou shalt not ask for my paradigm, ever. (See also here.)

6. Thou shalt not be smug.

Since this list is not divinely inspired, it may be amended at any time. Thou shalt suggest thy amendments in the comments.


Update: Josh has the quotes. Best one: "What do you mean by 'moral'?" "I...I don't know." Epistemic honesty is refreshing.

4 comments:

TheTachyix said...

I think this tournament is going to be known as the Cavalcade of Veteran's Day Miracles.

TeacherRefPoet said...

If they ask you for your paradigm, can't you just say "Nope. Debate the best you can?" I never minded telling them my paradigm (which was "I don't give a crap about your card").

Jim Anderson said...

Actually, when I was feeling nice, I said, "Nope."

[dramatic pause]

"But you can ask me what I'd like to see in the round."

Then I would explain it, and it would be promptly ignored, or, worse, misunderstood.

(Come back. You know you miss it.)

teacherrefpoet said...

I miss the practices. I do NOT miss the meets. But next year, when I'm New Guy In District, I may start another 3- to 4-year run. If, and only if, I get a co-coach.