The candidates:
Jennifer Granholm, Democrat
Dick DeVos, Republican
Greg Creswell, Libertarian
Douglas Campbell, Green
Bhagwan Dashairya, Constitution
The prediction:
Since the Moon is in the second house, and Jupiter and Mars are aligned, then peace and prosperity are coming soon. The Age of DeVos begins in November, when the charismatic and star-blessed Amway flunky-turned-politician will capture the hearts and minds of Michigan's electorate. Despite a liberal media effort to paint DeVos as a snake-oil salesman and teetotaler, and despite DeVos's inevitable gaffe where he will refer to the Bible as "a good book," instead of "The Good Book," center-leaning Republicans and waffling Democrats will hold hands across the aisle--metaphorically--to usher in an era of tranquility.
Jennifer Granholm will quickly concede, since the margin of victory will be greater than ten points. Creswell, Campbell, and Dashairya will debate each other on Michigan public television, angry that the major candidates refuse to face them on air. Two people will watch. They will vote Democratic anyway.
[121st in a series]
1 comment:
Whereupon Dick DeVos will announce the creation of the first Dominionist State of Creation(ism), and everyone will get a free self-help tape (but you have to pay for the series) that will be of major help help in the coming soap-based economy.
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