Iggy Pop's concert rider

I'm a drummer in a rock-and-or-roll band. Our lead guitarist, Mike Dean, is known for his massive email rants, paragraph after paragraph of zingers and self-deprecating snark.

I'm sure he'll appreciate this remarkable concert rider for Iggy Pop and the Stooges, which includes all the usual demands, but with a running commentary that would make Mark Twain proud. A sample:

Apparently we are going to be in your area, playing a concert, and you will be supplying the backline equipment. Good-oh! Are you sitting comfortably? Then I'll begin...

ALL OF THIS LOT FOR A START

2X MARSHALL VBA 8 X 10 CABINETS (There's lovely.)

3X MARSHALL VBA BASS AMPLIFIERS Make sure they're good ones or we'll all end up as wormlike web-based life forms in the bass player's online literary diahorrea. Honestly. He's like a sort of Internet Pepys or Boswell, except without the gout and the syphilis. For all I know.

If you can't supply Marshalls, then
3 x AMPEG SVT2 amps and 2 8x10 cabs iinstead [sic].

1 X KORG 2000 DIGITAL RACK TUNER. Digital in the sense that it works via an electronically generated number system, not digital because it only works if someone holds it together with their fingers.

It goes on like this for 18 pages.


[Thanks to the lovely folks at The Smoking Gun.]