The remarkable illuminations contained in an early candidate for next year's Pulitzer:
1. Being upset by something is reason enough to make it illegal.
2. Collectible swords are somehow more dangerous than big-ass hunting knives or weaponizable cutlery.
3. Warring implements should never be readily available, according to Fred Brookshire, who obviously has never been attacked by a rabid customer.
4. After centuries of neglect, swords are popular again.
5. Convenience store swords are cheap and easily broken.
6. Cane swords aren't just for querulous gerontocrats.
7. There is a school in Seattle that teaches "civilian dueling."
8. The real shocker: "A sword has never been the best weapon to kill someone.... You have to be pretty dead-set on what you're doing."