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Through negligence, an immigrant enclave that waves its ethnic identity
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If you're looking for a glimpse of Holland, but only have a day to explore, a trip to Lynden may be in order... Lynden Washington's Dutch heritage adds a unique touch to one of the jewels of Western Washington, ideally located between Mt. Baker and Puget Sound. The community of 10,000 will celebrate Holland Days on May 5, 2006, featuring costumed shopkeepers and Dutch Klompen Dancers, plus authentic Dutch delicacies. A standard feature is a 72 foot high windmill featuring moving blades....Great evil lurks in Lynden. Consider these photographs, evidence of Netherlandic fervor and malicious intent.
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Lynden, allied with our old enemy England and neighboring, untrustworthy Canada, flaunts its military might in our faces, while we cower, weak-kneed and wishy-washy in fear and ignorance. That's all we need, a British-backed takeover by a Dutch fifth column, an ironic conclusion to over two hundred years of freedom from King George.
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Taking a page from the commie playbook, Lynden's Dutch insurgents attempt to confound the world with their strength of arms. Here, some sort of submarine amphibious device wheels through the streets of Lynden, part of a bold and provocative military demonstration.
Intelligence sources suggest that the amphibious vehicle's bright hue signals radar-absorbing paint to match its blocky, angular "stealth" shape. The windpowered engine, capable of great speeds and limitless distance, threatens our way of life.
A strange cult of red-hatted matrons,
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Preaching intolerance and fomenting sectarian strife, they tear apart the fabric of freedom, replacing it with their own quilt of repression.
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America, we cannot stand idly by as subversive elements mock our freedoms and flood our streets with hate. America, WAKE UP to the threat of the Lynden Dutch! Tomorrow may be TOO LATE!
5 comments:
Oh dear. Those Dutch girls look pretty. Better keep our American sons away from them.
Sadly, I attended a wedding this past weekend where a longtime friend gained a very large, very Dutch extended family. They're wily, wily creatures.
Jimmy Anderson! Are you Pauls son? Lol I read through your post on lynden and.... Haha! thats very funny! You made those pics make our cummunity look pretty seriously dangerous, lol.
BTW this is Adam Van Cleve (wash windows with my dad for paul anderson).
Adam, sorry to disappoint, but I'm an Olympia boy with no present connection to your fair city. Glad you enjoyed it, though. Seriously: manicured lawns. What is wrong with Lynden?
Yeah, the lawns... Growing up in lynden was hard in the spring, mowing every other day cause my dad fertilizes. Its all about having a better lawn than the neighbor I think!
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