annual anti-American rally escapes attention of liberal media

Through negligence, an immigrant enclave that waves its ethnic identity in the face of all good Americans has flown under the radar of the liberal media. But here in bloggerland, we provide access to all the facts, exposing the underbelly of fractious ethnocentrism masked as ethnic pride. The source: little-visited Lynden, Washington, home to thousands of ethnic Dutch, a subversive minority that has spent years building up a dike of lies, conning right-thinking Americans into believing they represent only the innocent and pure love of all things Netherlandic. But the dike is full of holes. From the insidious website of an upcoming celebration of anti-Americanism:

If you're looking for a glimpse of Holland, but only have a day to explore, a trip to Lynden may be in order... Lynden Washington's Dutch heritage adds a unique touch to one of the jewels of Western Washington, ideally located between Mt. Baker and Puget Sound. The community of 10,000 will celebrate Holland Days on May 5, 2006, featuring costumed shopkeepers and Dutch Klompen Dancers, plus authentic Dutch delicacies. A standard feature is a 72 foot high windmill featuring moving blades....

Great evil lurks in Lynden. Consider these photographs, evidence of Netherlandic fervor and malicious intent.

Lynden, allied with our old enemy England and neighboring, untrustworthy Canada, flaunts its military might in our faces, while we cower, weak-kneed and wishy-washy in fear and ignorance. That's all we need, a British-backed takeover by a Dutch fifth column, an ironic conclusion to over two hundred years of freedom from King George.

Taking a page from the commie playbook, Lynden's Dutch insurgents attempt to confound the world with their strength of arms. Here, some sort of submarine amphibious device wheels through the streets of Lynden, part of a bold and provocative military demonstration.

Intelligence sources suggest that the amphibious vehicle's bright hue signals radar-absorbing paint to match its blocky, angular "stealth" shape. The windpowered engine, capable of great speeds and limitless distance, threatens our way of life.

A strange cult of red-hatted matrons, led by an elderly demagogue called Saint Nicholas, fills Lynden's cafes and schoolhouses, brainwashing young and old alike.

Preaching intolerance and fomenting sectarian strife, they tear apart the fabric of freedom, replacing it with their own quilt of repression.




America, we cannot stand idly by as subversive elements mock our freedoms and flood our streets with hate. America, WAKE UP to the threat of the Lynden Dutch! Tomorrow may be TOO LATE!