a fond farewell to Don Knotts

A child of the wrong decade, I grew up on I Dream of Jeannie and The Andy Griffith Show, a fact that will keep my Freudian therapist employed for the next half century. Larry Hagman and Don Knotts were my heroes--losers with big hearts and small brains, emblems of the essential goodness of American mediocrity.

Last night Don Knotts passed away at the age of 81.

We learned valuable lessons from Barney Fife, the archetypal character that Knotts never shook off, no matter what film or television role he took. We learned gun safety, keeping our lone bullet in our shirt pocket. We mastered the slippery slope fallacy, noting that five'll getcha ten, and ten'll getcha fifteen, and fifteen'll getcha twenty. We respected the rule of law and taught others to do the same--so they could make a citizen's arrest when we ran afoul of it.

And we sang loud and shrill over the sweeter tones of the humble. "Santa Lucia" would never sound the same.

So long, Mr. Knotts. We'll try to bumble and warble along without you.