CORRUGATED TIMES-DISPATCHLEMONT, ILLINOIS -- A stunned nation reacted with hostility to a local blogger's announcement that he was too tired to both post and exercise, and that exercise would have to come first.
"I don’t have the energy to devote to a good blog essay and I really need to get a workout in," Mark Olson, owner of the small but provocative blog Pseudo-Polymath, wrote earlier this evening. "The bike wins. I’ll try to get up early and write something tomorrow morning."
Neighboring blogger Lucille Hermansen responded immediately with criticism. "Who does this Olson think he is? The rules are clear. Blog first, the rest will take care of itself." Hermansen, co-founder of Not an Addict, began IM'ing others to "flame" Olson with harassing emails.
International outcry followed shortly after. "American pundits are an example to the world," fumed Norwegian Lars Grundal, better known as A Guy With a Bløg. "If they start trading in their keyboards for kayaks, the revolution will be finished."
At a late-night press conference, Olson expressed his perplexity at the speed and tenacity of the response. "Holy cow. I mean, I just needed a break. A night. That's all. I've had a rough day." He threw a sweat-soaked towel at reporters and headed for the showers.
Five hours after the announcement, Pseudo-Polymath was trading at $7,409 per share, down five hundred points from the previous day.