It'll involve nifty sports metaphors, clever captioning, high-octane group activities, and cultish chants. Banish the fear of the empty page! Take a whack at writing!
I'm sure I can do better than the well-intentioned presenters I've recently endured, who seem to forget everything they learned while teaching and have reduced themselves to canned lectures and Powerpoint presentations. (Why spend a whole day going over handouts that could have been covered in two hours? We can read, people. C'mon.)
I'll swim in filthy lucre, and your children will become little Tolstoys and Woolfs. Woolves?
2 comments:
Depending on the day, I will be one of the following participants:
1. The professional development coordinator on the staff, who sits in the front, asks earnest and vague questions, and seals an expression of forced interest on my face, like a dog who suspects you might have treats in the bag.
2. The person who has been on staff for three years and is trying to come out of my shell, saying things like "Come on, guys, let's give this presentation our respect! This stuff really works!"
3. The person who nervously surfs the web, jumping like a jackrabbit when I suspect you're headed in my direction.
4. The person who hasn't adjusted to teacher time yet, who repeatedly falls asleep and snaps awake when my head falls.
5. The whisperer of snide comments to the person next to me.
I forgot to mention the mixing of metaphors I'll have to outdo. When it comes to writing a paragraph, according to the freaks at Step Up to Writing, "Organization is the key, topic sentences are the heart, examples are the meat, transitions are the glue, and conclusions tie it all together."
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