NEW YORK -- In announcements lacking the vitriol that has marked The New York Times' relationship with the Blogosphere, friends close to both stated that the two are splitting up for good.
Cherlynn Janowicz, speaking for The Times, said that the constant stream of hectoring, quibbling, and fact-checking eventually destroyed what had always been a rocky marriage. "The Times would brush its teeth, and the Blogosphere would complain that it was leaving little spit marks on the mirror," Janowicz claimed. "If the Times sent a dozen roses to apologize, the Blogosphere would ask for a receipt."
A representative of the Blogosphere, Marilee Smith-Becker, cited "irreconcilable differences" and persistent mistrust as grounds for the separation. "I never thought they were right for each other," she said. "They would fight in public all the time, have these really embarrassing arguments in restaurants."
The Times is currently staying at a local Super 8 Motel, and would not return calls.
The Blogosphere reportedly burned a stack of letters in the fireplace this morning, eyes rimmed red after a night of sobbing.