Aug 5, 2004

the apocalypse nears

Seattle sits atop a pile of garbage that itself sits atop a fault line. Given the Pacific Northwest's history of violent temblors, geoscientists predict that a large earthquake is due to strike--and possibly destroy the city. Seattle also sits within range of an active volcano, fondly referred to as Mount Rainier, and a nuclear sub station at Bangor. So, O Catastrophic God of Jerry Falwell, now that a King County judge has ruled Washington's "Defense of Marriage Act" unconstitutional, what's it gonna be?

7 comments:

Unknown said...

I think I could take Pat Robertson in a fight. What do you think?

Jim Anderson said...

Funny you should mention that. I just watched Fight Club last night. My favorite line: "I'd fight Gandhi."

Pat Robertson outweighs you, but I think you have a longer reach. He wins, though, since he'd thump you with a Christian Bible that has the extra weight of the New Testament.

Unknown said...

I enjoyed that line, but also "I'd fight William Shatner."
If we can use religious items as weapons I could bring the Kabbalah, Talmud, or talit. For all practical purposes, that thing's a whip.

Jim Anderson said...

Yeah, that's it... give Robertson a midrashing he'll never forget.

Matthew Anderson said...

since he'd thump you with a Christian Bible that has the extra weight of the New Testament.

Probably (and sadly) true. But are there Christian Bibles without the New Testament?

Unknown said...

Pat Robertson would win any fight, because he would call in the awesome tornado of bibical might that is Charles Norris. And then Josh would be screwed. Chuck can kick anyones ass.
By the way, Sr. A I found out where all the oxen went to: Montana. They are the famous bi-products of the famous Rocky Mountain Oysters. http://www.funlinked.com/testicle/recipe.html#rocky

I think I could take Custer. He was a wimp.


Aaron

Unknown said...

Correction: The unfortunate bi-product of the famous rocky mountain oysters.

Aaron