the rundown

Since I'm a kindly sort who volunteers my students for other class's projects, my first period sophomores slogged through a self-esteem survey this morning, brought to us by I.B. Psychology.

What's sad about these tests is that they're so easily gamed. I can make myself into Eeyore with a few well-chosen responses, or come across as Pippi Longstocking if it's a personality test for a sales job. (Not just "can." Have.)

Second period shared their Newsweek stories. The assignment: take four random pictures from Newsweek and incorporate them into a coherent narrative. The results: predictably rough, but often hilarious.

Two presenters kicked off a two-week binge of passage commentaries from Song of Solomon. (No, I don't teach a Bible study; we're reading Toni Morrison's version.) We had just finished "um speeches," an exercise stolen from my high school speech coach, Scott Rowland, as a warmup, so I noticed every single "um" "uh" "like" "kind of" and "sort of." It was painful.

Fifth period tackled sci-fi the hard way: writing their own short stories based on a news item from NewScientist. I won't know how plausible their attempts were until Monday.

Sixth period's Song of Solomon presentations went smoothly, almost too smoothly for the first day. First questioner: "That was great, really great. That was just awesome. So good I can't even think of a question." Presenter: "Was that a question?"

I have trained them well.