after all, lycopene is a gateway drug

Pullman's finest, acting on a drug tip, swooped in:

A Pullman landlord notified police about a grow lamp in a closet, and police got a search warrant for a drug raid.

Eight officers with guns drawn surprised three roommates in the apartment last weekend and discovered they were growing tomatoes.

Commander Chris Tennant says it's the department's duty to investigate all credible complaints regarding marijuana growing operations in Pullman.

Credible. Credible complaints. All credible complaints.

Worse, one grow lamp in a closet warrants eight officers with guns drawn?

Thankfully, this ended as farce, not tragedy.

Update: As Radley Balko notes, tragedy is too often the outcome.

mmmmore miraculin

Radley Balko updates the "miracle fruit" story I noticed in February, and includes a link to purchasing the strangest of experiences.

just say no to 80s rap

Thank Radley Balko for this one. (Warning: before you click "play," have you thought about ear insurance?)

mmm... miraculin

An enzyme found in a fruit that makes bad taste good? It sounds too yummy to be true--but it is.

The fruit itself is mostly tasteless, though slightly sweet. The pit is surrounded by a weird, slick layer of pulp. It’s not bad to eat, but one would get bored with it pretty quickly. The true test came next, as we again sampled the lime. The result? Utter astonishment. The very same lime we’d tried moments before suddenly tasted like it had been dipped in sugar. All the stinging acidity was gone, leaving only the pleasing citrus and an amazing sensation of sweetness that left us craving more.

Our sense of taste completely transformed, we orgiastically began sampling everything we could get our hands on. Lemons tasted like lemonade. Meyer lemons tasted like the sweetest oranges. Grapefruits tasted awesome, and I don’t even like grapefruit. Goat cheese tasted like candy. Brooklyn Brewery’s Black Chocolate Stout tasted bigger and sweeter than ever. (One of us had never had a stout before. After drinking stout with miraculin, every other will probably be doomed to disappoint.)

My own contributions were a beer and a coffee. The beer was Magic Hat’s Roxy Rolles seasonal ale, which kept its intriguing flavor while losing its normally hoppy bite. For my friend who doesn’t like hoppy American beers, the miracle fruit “fixed” it....

The bottom line: miracle fruit is amazing. Imagine a party of people chomping into lemons and limes with abandon, and you’ve got an idea of its power.

The fruit isn't FDA friendly, of course; we wouldn't want people enjoying foods they shouldn't. The true test would be to find out if it makes Jones Holiday Soda palatable.

(Oh, and so much for Leon Kass's "wisdom of repugnance.")

Hat tip: Radley Balko.

on the day they were going to kill him

Radley Balko says it's "Life Imitates The Simpsons," in this everyone-is-a-suspect murder case....

Miguel Grima was not a well-liked man. As mayor of a tiny hamlet in the foothills of the Pyrenees in northern Spain he had ruffled a few feathers.

The farmers turned against him when he put a stop to the centuries-old custom of herding livestock through village.

The hunters got annoyed when he refused to issue them with shooting licences and the local drinkers revolted after he prevented the settlement's only bar from setting out tables on the terrace in summer.

He had repeatedly received anonymous threatening letters and reportedly told friends recently that he feared for his life and he was considering standing down as mayor of Fago at the next election.

So last Friday evening when he failed to return home from a late council meeting in a nearby town, his wife took his absence seriously and contacted police.

...but for my English teacher purposes, it's more like life imitating Chronicle of a Death Foretold. Which, incidentally, is our next book of study in the junior classes. How perfect.

extra added bonus jail time

Federal sentencing guidelines insanity: you can be convicted of one charge, acquitted of another, and serve a sentence tantamount to being convicted of both. Radley Balko explains.

Radley Balko for sainthood: part II

Brian Doherty sends along good news: Cory Maye has a new sentencing hearing ahead of him, and no longer sits on death row. Maye had shot a police officer in self defense when, in a no-knock raid, a SWAT team hit the wrong half of a duplex. Thanks to a prejudiced jury, a possible frame job, and an incompetent defense attorney, Maye was convicted of capital murder. Balko's tireless efforts might yet save an innocent man's life.

Part I here.

dating tip: quality dates me

I am a very high-quality man. Not just quality, or high-quality (and the dash is important, just like me), but very high-quality.

I know that sounds arrogant, but let’s consider the facts:

• I’m slim (whereas 98% of American men age 26 to 28 are mostly Molson muscle)
• I’m attractive (I was listed in Maxim as one of America's top heartthrobs, right up there with George Clooney and Orlando Bloom --and the men who populate that sample are celebrities, gods in gabardine slacks)
• I’m relatively young (whereas 82% of American adult men are old farts)
• I’m intelligent (IQ tested at 150 when I was a child, which is smarter than you could ever hope to be, and higher than 99.96% of the population. I've only gotten smarter with time, and hope to pass Einstein by 29)
• I’m educated (whereas 77% of American men cannot point to Turkey on a map, unless it's a map of the fridge)
• I have my financial shit together (have my own bank and a Master's degree in Credit History, hundreds of gold bars stacked under the bed, my good looks are insured through Lloyd's, Gatsbyesque raconteur)
• I have a strong libido, more testosterone than Floyd Landis, with the five o'clock shadow to prove it
• Many of my interests tend to be more popular with women than men: literature, organic hydroponics, yoga, radical feminism, Brad Pitt, Appletinis, guns, gambling, etc.

The above list explains why I typically receive 5000-10,000 (sometimes more) responses whenever I post personal ads. This is in addition to getting hit on almost every time I go out alone, proposed to in the subway, barraged by modeling offers, harrassed by paparazzi, and generally sick of seeing myself on billboards.

So, I have a *lot* of choices of women who want to date me. Given that, of course I choose to date only the highest quality women -- women who are also fit, attractive, intelligent, educated, financially successful, members of Mensa, allergic to pistachios, not too picky about Thai food, and mezzo-soprano. I’m attracted to women from any race and a wide age range (21 to 50 or so) so the pool of women who meet those requirements is quite large, which allows me to add all sorts of additional restrictions if I want -- must be a deist, must be anarcho-syndicalist, must despise children, must be financially independent or self-employed and available for frequent world travel, etc.

And believe me, the etc. is what gets 'em.




[via Ed Brayton, read the post that inspires]

Update: It's nice to be noticed.

Radley Balko for sainthood

Via Ed Brayton, Radley Balko's long-awaited report on the sorry state of SWAT raids across the country. Equally instructive is the Google Map of incidents over the past decade. The no-knock decision looks like an absurdity in the light of these findings.

"freedom of liberties"

Ed Brayton points to Radley Balko, who points to more inanities from the pen of Harriet Miers.

"We all can be active in some way to address the social issues that foster criminal behavior, such as: lack of self-esteem or hope in some segments of our society, poverty, lack of health care (particularly mental health care), lack of education, and family dysfunction. We lawyers are trained in problem-solving and we have the leadership and other opportunities available to professionals in our society. . . .

Curmudgeonly English Teacher (my other personality) groans at someone who puts a colon after "such as."

The blog is starting to look positively inspired these days.