no revenue stream too murky

Today's Olympian lauds outside-the-box thinking by Washington legislators. Two bills that receive a tentative "meh:" adding private vendors to rest stops, and allowing ads on school buses. Since this is an edu-blog, let's look at the latter.

Senate Bill 6466, allowing advertising on the side or inside a school bus, is bound to generate even more discussion and debate than the rest stop bill.

A school district could choose to participate in the program or not. A school district’s board of directors would have the final say on what advertising content or education material could be displayed on buses....

Finding consensus on what would be appropriate advertising on a public school bus will be difficult at best. But the program could have appeal in cash-strapped school districts.

Until all the earnings are wiped out by a lawsuit. Still... While we're, thinking outside the box, let's really think outside the box. Desperate times, etc. How about:

TV for Tots
Add back-seat televisions that run school-appropriate, mind-numbing, non-stop kid-centered commercials. Watch disciplinary incidents drop, and watch corporations compete for a shot at a captive audience. Parents know: TV works.

Principal for a Day
The highest-bidding community member gets to fill in for their local principal. Take calls from angry parents! Mediate political battles between departments! Meet with the union rep! Sign off on a "no freak dancing" policy! Take more calls from angry parents!

Bring Sugar Back
We lost the War on Obesity. Time to negotiate terms of surrender and take all the quarter(s) we can get.

Eliminate Busing in a Five-mile Radius
We're losing the War on Obesity. Time to call in the grunts. If you live within city limits, you might as well walk to school.

Legalize Pot
Unless a citizen initiative gets enough signatures to make the ballot and, miracle of miracles, passes, this one's just a pipe dream.