an Oscar for best adapted cultural event?

This morning, my freshfolks warmed up with a brief writing prompt, as we are wont to do. The two-part question:

1. If a movie were made about your life, what would it be called?
2. Which Oscar® would it win, and why?

Mine would be titled There Will Be Blood, and it would win a Best Supporting Actor for the Gillette Mach 3 Turbo's portrayal of a crimson-stained razor tired of fighting stubble. The title scene comes midway through, as the Turbo takes out its rage on my Adam's apple.

I told one of my most fatigued first-period students that he was ready for his close-up in A Beautiful Nap.