why are we putting on the pounds?

"I think it's very creative," said Dr. Robert Kushner, medical director of the weight management program at Northwestern Memorial Hospital in Chicago, who had no role in the report. "We are facing an epidemic with no tipping point in the near future. At this point, there are no silly ideas."

Oh, yes there are. In fact, I'll list five just to prove Kushner wrong.

1. Americans have evolved the ability to photosynthesize.
2. Lettuce actually contains 500 calories per gram.
3. The Food Network hypnotizes people into eating more.
4. Gay marriage is destroying traditional marriage. Divorced women overeat to compensate for loneliness.
5. Aliens are abducting people and injecting them with metabolism-slowing hormones in preparation for the slaughter. I saw that Twilight Zone.