give me twenty-six lead soldiers, Benjamin Franklin

Ben, we've had a tough fight against the Redcoats, the Hessians, and the secret squadron of armadillos imported from Florida. But we've never given up, not ever, and now we're going to win this thing.

That's right. It's your buddy, George Washington, calling on you to summon all your inventive powers and create a weapon that cannot be stopped. Twenty-six lead soldiers, standing in a phalanx of fury at the front of the line.

Give me twenty-six lead soldiers, Benjamin Franklin, and I will destroy the British army in six hours. Give me the die-cast demons I need, and I will guarantee you victory by Tuesday. Wednesday at the latest.

You can do it. You conjured up bifocals, and that stove-thingie, and the lightning rod, and the public library, and the composting toilet, and the inflatable dinghy. Twenty-six lead soldiers armed with cannons and muskets. A small order for a gigantic genius.

Give me twenty-six lead soldiers, Benjamin Franklin, and my army will become an unassailable force for good. That is, unless the British have a really, really hot fire and melt them into puddles of defeat.

In that case, give me twenty-six tungsten soldiers. I've got some British ass to kick.



[105th in a series]