Sperms are strong of their own accord--but you can make them stronger with these quick and easy tips.
1. Leave them to ferment longer.
2. Grind them more thoroughly.
3. Increase weights and decrease reps, or vice versa.
4. Give specific praise instead of general compliments.
5. Include special characters ($ % ! & * etc.), numbers, and random strings of letters.
6. Slightly warm the surface level.
7. Diversify.
8. Add honeycomb carbon fiber construction.
9. Increase calcium intake.
10. Work together.
11. Implement tax cuts.
12. Do whatever doesn't kill them.
[sixty-third in a series]
What about obstacle-course training? Can a sperm do a push-up? Also, I'm unsure about the use of the plural here. I guess the unpredictability of recombination makes the genotype of every sperm unique and sacred, such that even one guy's semen might be said to contain "many sperms"--yet in common speech we count his contents as "many sperm," and we go to the sperm bank when we want sperms to choose from. Thank you for broaching this delicate and all too squirmy subject.
ReplyDeleteThis post also begs the question of what's best for eggs. Maybe a lot couch sitting and television? A gentle soak to remain supple? It was so much easier back in the day when natural selection took care of everything.
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