from the mind of Mike Seaver

You haven't visited Kirk Cameron's website in a while? Ah, what you've been missing. Crawfish on a conveyor belt: a metaphor for the human condition.

The ones that reached the end of the belt dropped helplessly into a pot of boiling water, to be cooked and eaten by large, ravenous creatures (my lunch mates) waiting to crack open their bodies and eat their flesh. My only consolation was to know that death would come quickly to these little creatures and end their unimaginable pain. I couldn't help but feel sick. I wanted to run into the kitchen, break open the bags of imprisoned shellfish and yell, "Run! Run for your lives!"

But Kirk's sympathies extend only so far:

Three months later, the chickens are now full-grown and not so cute. They make more messes than my six kids combined and they still don't lay eggs. I regularly make chicken soup for dinner in hopes that the steaming aroma will drift across the chicken coop in the backyard, reminding those freeloading feathered friends to lay some eggs soon . . . or else.