drive hammered, get nailed

It's a paradigm case of government ineptitude. Someone comes up with a slogan. It's reviewed by a couple of middle-aged dorks with no social life, good taste, or musical sense. Then it's shipped off to a fifth-rate rock'n'roll "artist" to be recorded as a Public Service Announcement. The result: "Drive Hammered, Get Nailed," the dumbest song in Washington state history.

The radio spot: a screechy rock tune full of distorted guitars, fake drums and stupid lyrics. "Drive hammered, get nailed. / I said drive hammered, you're gonna get nailed." The screecher's voice swoops and dives like a kamikaze pilot. "Drive hammmerrrred? You're gonna git naiiiiled."

Despite a thousand dollar government study that proves the song is disdained by anyone under the age of 35, you can still hear it on "hip" stations like 107.7 The End.

Word to Washington state: if you ever need to know if an ad campaign is going to suck, save your money and hire this blogger. I'll give you a true, unadorned opinion for $500, satisfaction guaranteed. "Drive drunk, get laid" was never a winner. Ever.