Nine days from now I'll undergo a two-day battery of tests. Next Thursday brings a flexible sigmoidoscopy, with a follow-up barium enema on Friday the 30th. (No reason for alarm. My doctor wants a thorough investigation--easy for him to recommend--of some recent bowel issues that he couldn't diagnose with just an x-ray.)
Today I had to visit Group Health and pick up a prep kit for each procedure. I was handed an innocuous brown paper bag at the first counter, then directed to Radiology for the second parcel, the enema kit. At Radiology, the first receptionist wasn't quite sure if she needed to give me the full meal deal, since the two kits are partially redundant. Her colleague wasn't sure, either, so she picked up a bottle of bright green elixir and a blister pack of pills, shrugged, and asked if she could look into the paper bag, which was stapled shut.
"Shoot," I said. "I thought I couldn't open it until Christmas."
She laughed, her colleague laughed, and I laughed, and was sent on my way, as merry as I could be about a barium enema.
Drinking the barium is only slightly more pleasant than what you have to go through. It tastes like a chalk milkshake, and I was required to drink it quickly...
ReplyDeleteAnd I still don't know what's wrong with my bowels.
Fight the good fight, bowel brother.
Be sure to ask them to turn the monitor so you can watch along with the pilot the view through the bowel cam. It's an engaging and reassuring distraction. Also be very very close to the toilet when you drink that Barium. The urge hits fast, hard, without warning and it laughs at resistance.
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