quick thing on real elephants

Real elephants, fascinating as they are, can't match the allure of pseudo-elephants, metaphoric elephants, fictive elephants, stuffed elephants won at the fair, elephant slippers, the pink elephants of delirium tremens, the white elephant, the elephant in the room, the blind men and the elephant, Dumbo, Jumbo, an elephant never forgets, don't think of an elephant.

Real elephants stink of feces and urine, producing both in colossal quantities. They feast upon rotting fruit and drunkenly trample property and people.



You do not want a real elephant.





[fortieth in a series]