Times umpire was called "blind," "nearsighted," "poor of vision," or "sightless": 45,264
Times umpire was asked to purchase spectacles: 38,407
Times umpire's sexual adequacy was called into question: 8,216
Times dirt was kicked by player at umpire: 6,772
By manager: 17,183
Number of umpires struck by baseballs, bats, or helmets: 5,223
Average sick leave taken by umpires after such incidents: 8 days
Number of players ejected for threatening or harassing umpires: 45,862
Number of managers ejected: 349
Number of sunflower seeds surgically removed from one beleaguered ump, circa 1927: 78
All statistics found in The American Experience: Baseball as a Way of Life, 2003, and represent the years 1960-2002.
[twenty-ninth in a series]
Addenda:
ReplyDeleteNumber of times I was sworn at by drunken beer-league softball players (in a two-year career): 5
Number of times a student at a basketball game has screamed at me that "You look like a horse!" 1
Sound aforementioned student made to taunt me: "Hee-haw!"
Apparent quality of Seattle Public Schools' Kindergarten Animal Sounds Unit: Zero
Number of times a teenage partner of mine was knocked to the ground by a parent at an eighth-grade girls' game: 1
Number of times I've needed a police escort to leave a game: 0 (so far...it's a matter of time)