tears, I say

Mark Olson knows how to make an English teacher happy: by using Shakespeare as an educational form of discipline. Bravo, Mark.

A few additional pointers:

• If your child fears ghosts, show her Hamlet. Teach her to talk to ghosts, to ask them what sort of revengeful plots they have in mind.
• Romeo and Juliet has been known to turn adolescents off dating (and, to a lesser degree, Shakespeare).
• Reciting stretches of Shakespeare's more obscure work immensely impresses employers. When competition for a McDonalds slot is fierce, your teen will need the extra "edge."
• Children as young as two can recognize the moral failings of Lady Macbeth.
• Warn wayward tykes that, unless they behave, they'll be turned into donkeys, or worse: made to fall in love with them.