antivirus blues

Trying to update my antivirus files, I stumbled across the Symantec Virtual Agent. Being Mr. Literal, I decided to play along...

Symantec: Tell me about your problem or ask me a question. To ask a question to the Symantec Virtual Agent, type keywords or a phrase to describe your issue. For example, you can type "What year was Shakespeare born?"

Guest what year was shakespeare born?
Symantec: I may need additional information.

Symantec: Found (03) items related to 'what year was shakespeare born?'.
Choose from the following options or just tell me more.
01) Your question is not about subscriptions.
02) You want to know what a subscription key is.
03) You want to know how subscriptions work and what your options are.
Enter your choice (1 through 3 out of 3) or just describe some facts.

Guest (no input)
Guest Your question is not about subscriptions.
Symantec: Now, based on what you told me I understand that:
Your question is not about subscriptions.

Guest Search our knowledgebase to solve your technical support questions.
Symantec: So far, you've told me that:
Your question is not about subscriptions.
Search our knowledgebase to solve your technical support questions.

Symantec:
Search our knowledgebase to solve your technical support questions.
Symantec: Did this answer your question?

Guest No
Symantec: So far, you've told me that:
Your question is not about subscriptions.

Symantec: Is it correct that search tips for the Subscription Troubleshooter?

Guest Yes
Symantec: From what you've told me, I understand that:
Your question is not about subscriptions.
Search tips for the Subscription Troubleshooter.

Symantec:
Read the document “Search Tips for the subscription troubleshooter.”
Symantec: Did this answer your question?

Guest No
Guest None of these options are appropriate.
Symantec: I am sorry, but I don't know what to suggest.