May 12, 2004

jHon kerrY 4 Pressident

Just got a letter from John Kerry for President, Inc., written in a folksy style (ostensibly) by Mr. Kerry himself. It boasts some real beauties of mangled syntax and mixed metaphor, which as an English teacher, I'm all too happy to skewer. The best, shiniest flops:

We know how much hardship George W. Bush's trail of broken promises has left in its wake...

Ships leave wakes. Trails, as inanimate objects, don't really "do" things.

Everywhere I go, one finds levels of energy and enthusiasm...

Why not the less awkward, even more-folksy-sounding "Everywhere I go, I find..."?

George W. Bush works round the clock to protect and defend tax breaks...

G.W. hasn't worked "round the clock," er, around the clock, for any reason, having spent approximately 40% of his time away from the Oval Office.

*sigh* What choice, really, do you have? Hold your grammatical nose and vote for John Kerry.

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